.jpg)
••
♥
One day a boy and his father were at the dining room
table working on the boy's Social Studies homework,
the chapter about government.
The boy turns to his father and asks,
"Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?"
The father replies without hesitating,
"Oh, about ten percent."
table working on the boy's Social Studies homework,
the chapter about government.
The boy turns to his father and asks,
"Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?"
The father replies without hesitating,
"Oh, about ten percent."
••
A businessman was having a tough time lugging his
lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane.
Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to
stuff it in the overhead bin.
"Do you always carry such heavy luggage?"
she sighed.
"No more," the man said......
"Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my partner can
buy the ticket!"
lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane.
Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to
stuff it in the overhead bin.
"Do you always carry such heavy luggage?"
she sighed.
"No more," the man said......
"Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my partner can
buy the ticket!"
••
I've got trouble with the wife again - she came into the bar
looking for me and I asked for her number.
looking for me and I asked for her number.
••
Two cows are in a field.
One says to the other
"What do you reckon to that mad cow disease?"
The other one says
"It doesn"t bother me - I"m a duck!"
One says to the other
"What do you reckon to that mad cow disease?"
The other one says
"It doesn"t bother me - I"m a duck!"
••
This lesson was learned by Miss Greedy Who wore her
shoplifted bikini.
She heard a loud pop, And off came her top And had
nothing on in betweenie!
shoplifted bikini.
She heard a loud pop, And off came her top And had
nothing on in betweenie!
••
At the height of a political corruption trial, the
prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
"Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five
thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't
hear the question.
"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to
compromise this case?"the lawyer repeated.
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please
answer the question."
"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking
to you."
prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
"Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five
thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't
hear the question.
"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to
compromise this case?"the lawyer repeated.
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please
answer the question."
"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking
to you."
••
Two men knocked on my front door and asked if I would
kindly donate to the new local swimming pool.
So I gave them a bottle of water.
kindly donate to the new local swimming pool.
So I gave them a bottle of water.
••
David Beckham is working away so he goes into
Interflora to get a bouquet of flowers for Victoria.
"Do you want them scented?" asks the assistant.
"Yes please," says David.
"It's too far to take them myself."
Interflora to get a bouquet of flowers for Victoria.
"Do you want them scented?" asks the assistant.
"Yes please," says David.
"It's too far to take them myself."
••
Before science was invented it was once believed that
autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked
every tree in existence.
autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked
every tree in existence.
••••
