••
♥
I walked into the kitchen this morning and saw a big
chocolate cake with a note beside it which said
"Don't eat me".
My wife must think I'm stupid though.... I don't eat paper.
chocolate cake with a note beside it which said
"Don't eat me".
My wife must think I'm stupid though.... I don't eat paper.
••
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of
elephants with sunglasses
A: Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.
elephants with sunglasses
A: Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.
••
I had a strange time last night.
First my blind date didn't turn up, then some woman
walked in, gave me a weird look and immediately left
the restaurant.
First my blind date didn't turn up, then some woman
walked in, gave me a weird look and immediately left
the restaurant.
••
You know, when two people meet.....
they have that initial spark, that crazy attraction,
that's called love at first sight.
When only one person has it, that's called stalking.
The police told me that.
they have that initial spark, that crazy attraction,
that's called love at first sight.
When only one person has it, that's called stalking.
The police told me that.
••
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
••
A young boy asked his mother
"Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like
machines?"
"Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?"
replied by his mother
The young boy answered " The other day, Daddy was
talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he
screwed the ass off his secretary."
"Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like
machines?"
"Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?"
replied by his mother
The young boy answered " The other day, Daddy was
talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he
screwed the ass off his secretary."
••
Here's to the girl that I kissed last.
She didn't kiss slowly nor did she kiss fast.
But she kissed so long and she kissed so sweet.
She made things stand that had no feet.
She didn't kiss slowly nor did she kiss fast.
But she kissed so long and she kissed so sweet.
She made things stand that had no feet.
••
If women ruled the world there would be no wars.
Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each
other!!!
Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each
other!!!
••
Q: How do you know if you pass an elephant?
A: You can't get the toilet seat down.
A: You can't get the toilet seat down.
••
There was a ventriloquist who'd had no work for six
months.
He went to his agent and told him he needed work badly.
The agent said, "There's no call for ventriloquists, but if
you were a psychic I could get you plenty of work."
So the ventriloquist went home and hung out a psychic
sign. An hour later a woman knocks on the door:
"I want to talk to my deceased husband.
How much will it cost?"
The ventriloquist says, "If you talk to him, it's $50;
if he talks to you, it's $100;
and if you talk to each other while I'm drinking a glass
of water, that's $200."
months.
He went to his agent and told him he needed work badly.
The agent said, "There's no call for ventriloquists, but if
you were a psychic I could get you plenty of work."
So the ventriloquist went home and hung out a psychic
sign. An hour later a woman knocks on the door:
"I want to talk to my deceased husband.
How much will it cost?"
The ventriloquist says, "If you talk to him, it's $50;
if he talks to you, it's $100;
and if you talk to each other while I'm drinking a glass
of water, that's $200."
••••
