••
♥
A couple I know were at my house, I had a few friends
over.
The couple told us that they have 4 sons and needed
advice on how to get a daughter.
Friend#1: Keep trying!
Friend#2: Change your Doctor!
Friend#3: Follow a special diet.
Friend#4: Practice yoga!
But apparently my "Let me try" wasn't very good advice.
over.
The couple told us that they have 4 sons and needed
advice on how to get a daughter.
Friend#1: Keep trying!
Friend#2: Change your Doctor!
Friend#3: Follow a special diet.
Friend#4: Practice yoga!
But apparently my "Let me try" wasn't very good advice.
••
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down
his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish
him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand......
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down
his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish
him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand......
••
Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace,
so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you!
so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you!
••
A Christian farmer spent the day in the city.
In a restaurant for his noon meal, he sat near a group
of young men.
After he bowed his head to give thanks for his food,
one of the young men thought he would embarrass the
old gentleman.
"Hey, farmer, does everyone do that out where you live?"
The old man calmly replied, "No, son, the pigs don't!"
In a restaurant for his noon meal, he sat near a group
of young men.
After he bowed his head to give thanks for his food,
one of the young men thought he would embarrass the
old gentleman.
"Hey, farmer, does everyone do that out where you live?"
The old man calmly replied, "No, son, the pigs don't!"
••
My women gives me the "I need more space" line today.
I said "You've gained 50 pounds in 6 months, how much
more space do you need?"
I said "You've gained 50 pounds in 6 months, how much
more space do you need?"
••
A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping
center.
Her arms were heavily laden with a mop and broom and
other cleaning supplies.
By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in
a hurry and not happy about the slowness of the line.
When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap,
the woman remarked indignantly, "Well, I'll be lucky to
get out of here and home before Christmas!"
"Don't worry, ma'am," replied the clerk.
"With that wind kicking up out there and that brand new
broom you have here, you'll be home in no time."
center.
Her arms were heavily laden with a mop and broom and
other cleaning supplies.
By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in
a hurry and not happy about the slowness of the line.
When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap,
the woman remarked indignantly, "Well, I'll be lucky to
get out of here and home before Christmas!"
"Don't worry, ma'am," replied the clerk.
"With that wind kicking up out there and that brand new
broom you have here, you'll be home in no time."
••
What do you call identical boobs?
Identitties.
Identitties.
••
Gus got on a bus one day and sat in the aisle seat beside
an elderly lady.
A few minutes later, he couldn't control himself and had
to let loose a big noisy fart.
Embarrassed, he tried to make conversation with the lady
and asked her, "Do you by any chance have today's paper?"
The lady looked at him and said, "No, but the next time
we pass by a tree, I'll grab you a handful of leaves."
an elderly lady.
A few minutes later, he couldn't control himself and had
to let loose a big noisy fart.
Embarrassed, he tried to make conversation with the lady
and asked her, "Do you by any chance have today's paper?"
The lady looked at him and said, "No, but the next time
we pass by a tree, I'll grab you a handful of leaves."
••
Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls.
He walked....
He walked....
••
A young woman was preparing for her wedding.
She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black
negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would
not wrinkle.
Well, Mom forgot until the last minute.
So she dashed out and could only find a short pink nighty.
She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.
After the wedding the bride and groom enter their hotel
room.
The groom was a little self-conscious so he asked his
new bride to change in the bathroom and promise not to
peek while he got ready for bed.
While she was in the bathroom, the bride opened her
suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in
there.
She exclaimed, "Oh no! It's short, pink, and wrinkled!"
Then her groom cried out, "I told you not to peek!"
A young woman was preparing for her wedding.
She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black
negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would
not wrinkle.
Well, Mom forgot until the last minute.
So she dashed out and could only find a short pink nighty.
She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.
After the wedding the bride and groom enter their hotel
room.
The groom was a little self-conscious so he asked his
new bride to change in the bathroom and promise not to
peek while he got ready for bed.
While she was in the bathroom, the bride opened her
suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in
there.
She exclaimed, "Oh no! It's short, pink, and wrinkled!"
Then her groom cried out, "I told you not to peek!"
••••
