Down Hummingbird Lane

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While going through his wife's dresser drawers, a farmer
discovered three soybeans and an envelope containing
$30 in cash.
The farmer confronted his wife, and when asked about
the curious items, she confessed: "Over the years, I
haven't been completely faithful to you.
When I did fool around, I put a soybean in the drawer to
remind myself of my indiscretion," she explained.
The farmer admitted that he had not always been faithful
either, and therefore, was inclined to forgive and forget a
few moments of weakness in his wife.
"I'm curious though," he said, "Where did the thirty
dollars come from?"
"Oh that," his wife replied, "Well, when soybeans hit ten
dollars a bushel, I sold out!"

 

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When everything's coming your way,
you're in the wrong lane.

 

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Spent the whole day in the dog house.....
as apparently I cheated on my missus her in HER dream...
If only she knew what I was dreaming...

 

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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger?"
The other replied, " Yes I am, I married the wrong man.

 

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I noticed my Jehovah's witness neighbor knocking
loudly on his own door today.
I said, "What's wrong? Are you locked out?"
He replied "No, I'm just practicing."

 

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Knock Knock
Who's there?
Duane!
Duane who?
Duane the bath, I'm dwowning!

 

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Knock Knock
Who's there?
Dwayne!
Dwayne who?
Dwayne in Spain falls mainly on the plain...!

 

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Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at
last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do
your work around here?
Secretary: My lawyer.

 

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A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the
couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple?
How devoted they are?
He kisses her every time they meet.
Why don't you do that?"
"I would love to." Replied the husband.
"But I don't know her well enough ."

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