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The Perfect Scam - Australia....
Australian Police have been unable to recommend a
prosecution for the following scam:
A company takes out a newspaper advertisement
claiming to be able to supply imported hard core
pornographic videos.
As their prices seem reasonable, people place orders
and make payments via check.
After several weeks, the company writes back explaining
that under the present law they are unable to supply the
materials and do not wish to be prosecuted.
So they return their customers' money in the form of a
company check.
However, due to the name of the company, few people
will present these checks to their banks.
The name of the company:
"The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company."
Australian Police have been unable to recommend a
prosecution for the following scam:
A company takes out a newspaper advertisement
claiming to be able to supply imported hard core
pornographic videos.
As their prices seem reasonable, people place orders
and make payments via check.
After several weeks, the company writes back explaining
that under the present law they are unable to supply the
materials and do not wish to be prosecuted.
So they return their customers' money in the form of a
company check.
However, due to the name of the company, few people
will present these checks to their banks.
The name of the company:
"The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company."
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Son - "Dad whats the difference between confident
and confidential?"
Dad - "Hmm. You are my son.
Of that I am confident.
Your friend Timmy is also my son.
That's confidential."
Son - "Dad whats the difference between confident
and confidential?"
Dad - "Hmm. You are my son.
Of that I am confident.
Your friend Timmy is also my son.
That's confidential."
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Gus told his doctor he wasn't able to do all the things
around the house like he used to.
When the examination was complete, he said
"Now Doc, tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."
"Well in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just
lazy."
"Okay," said the man.
"Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
around the house like he used to.
When the examination was complete, he said
"Now Doc, tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."
"Well in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just
lazy."
"Okay," said the man.
"Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
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Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than
leather because it's much easier to harass rich women
than motorcycle gangs?
leather because it's much easier to harass rich women
than motorcycle gangs?
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Man decides to buy a pet, but does not know what he
wants as a pet,
So he goes to the pet shop in search of a pet.
He sees cats in a cage dogs on another cage spiders,
rabbits, frogs, birds, fish in aquariums and finally he
sees a very colorful parrot in the corner of the store
and he goes to the area where the parrot was and
salesman asks him,
"Are you interested in this parrot?" the man says,
"Does he talk?".... the salesman says,
"If you pull his left leg he will say the our father and
if you pull his right leg, he will say the hailmary!"
The man says, "What will the parrot say if I pull both
legs at the same time?"
The parrot says, "I'll fall on my ass stupid!
wants as a pet,
So he goes to the pet shop in search of a pet.
He sees cats in a cage dogs on another cage spiders,
rabbits, frogs, birds, fish in aquariums and finally he
sees a very colorful parrot in the corner of the store
and he goes to the area where the parrot was and
salesman asks him,
"Are you interested in this parrot?" the man says,
"Does he talk?".... the salesman says,
"If you pull his left leg he will say the our father and
if you pull his right leg, he will say the hailmary!"
The man says, "What will the parrot say if I pull both
legs at the same time?"
The parrot says, "I'll fall on my ass stupid!
••
Word of the Day: SARCASM;
The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.
The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.
••
We were at a family gathering and out of nowhere my
93 year old grandfather announces; ''Well, now I have
to sit down now when I pee..."
All conversation grinds to a halt and everyone looks at
him.
"My doctor told me no more heavy lifting."
93 year old grandfather announces; ''Well, now I have
to sit down now when I pee..."
All conversation grinds to a halt and everyone looks at
him.
"My doctor told me no more heavy lifting."
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Just saw the weirdest accident today....
I was driving to work this morning and from my rear
view mirror I saw this car a few blocks behind me
speeding.
He drove past a red light and hit another car from the
back.
Both guys got out of their cars and start arguing loudly
About 30 seconds later, this 3rd guy who was sitting
down waiting for the bus crossed the street, got into one
of the cars and just drove off with it!!
I was driving to work this morning and from my rear
view mirror I saw this car a few blocks behind me
speeding.
He drove past a red light and hit another car from the
back.
Both guys got out of their cars and start arguing loudly
About 30 seconds later, this 3rd guy who was sitting
down waiting for the bus crossed the street, got into one
of the cars and just drove off with it!!
••
A Sunday school teacher asked her students to draw a
picture of Jesus' family.
After collecting the drawings, she noticed that one little
boy's drawing depicted an airplane with four heads
sticking out of the windows.
"I see you drew three heads to show Joseph, Mary and
Jesus," she said to the boy.
"But who does the fourth head belong to?"
The boy replied, "That's Pontius the pilot."
picture of Jesus' family.
After collecting the drawings, she noticed that one little
boy's drawing depicted an airplane with four heads
sticking out of the windows.
"I see you drew three heads to show Joseph, Mary and
Jesus," she said to the boy.
"But who does the fourth head belong to?"
The boy replied, "That's Pontius the pilot."
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Tech Support: 'What does the screen say now.'
Person: 'It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'.'
Tech Support: 'Well?'
Person: 'How do I know when it's ready?'
Person: 'It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'.'
Tech Support: 'Well?'
Person: 'How do I know when it's ready?'
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