••
♥
I've just got a new job as a Barbarian.
It's just like being a librarian, but I also cut hair.
It's just like being a librarian, but I also cut hair.
••
There was a married couple sleeping and an intruder
entered into their house.
The intruder put a knife to the neck of the woman and
said, "I like to know the names of my victims before I
kill them, what is your name?"
"My name is Elizabeth," the woman replied.
The intruder said, "You remind me of my mother who
was also named Elizabeth, so I can't kill you."
The intruder then turned to the husband and asked,
"What is your name?"
"My name's Phillip, but my friends call me Elizabeth."
entered into their house.
The intruder put a knife to the neck of the woman and
said, "I like to know the names of my victims before I
kill them, what is your name?"
"My name is Elizabeth," the woman replied.
The intruder said, "You remind me of my mother who
was also named Elizabeth, so I can't kill you."
The intruder then turned to the husband and asked,
"What is your name?"
"My name's Phillip, but my friends call me Elizabeth."
••
“When all my electrical engineering friends at the
baseball game did the wave, it was almost like having a
phased-hooray.”
baseball game did the wave, it was almost like having a
phased-hooray.”
••
FBI and Florida authorities arrested Paul E. Flasher, 45,
who had been sentenced to five years in prison in 1980
for grand theft but who had never been jailed.
Flasher said he had gone home from the sentencing
hearing in Tampa and "sat tight," just as his lawyer had
instructed, waiting for notification to report to prison.
Authorities forgot him for 12 years.
who had been sentenced to five years in prison in 1980
for grand theft but who had never been jailed.
Flasher said he had gone home from the sentencing
hearing in Tampa and "sat tight," just as his lawyer had
instructed, waiting for notification to report to prison.
Authorities forgot him for 12 years.
••
“The most popular operation for orthopaedic surgeons
is upper-leg surgery: very hip.”
is upper-leg surgery: very hip.”
••
If you MUST show your identification to board an
airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library
book and rent a video, but not to vote for who runs the
government — you might live in a nation that was
founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library
book and rent a video, but not to vote for who runs the
government — you might live in a nation that was
founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
••
My wife always gives me sound advice.
99% Sound . . . 1% Advice
99% Sound . . . 1% Advice
••
When NASA first started sending up astronauts,
they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not
work in zero gravity.
To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade
and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity,
upside down, underwater, on almost any surface
including glass and at temperatures ranging from below
freezing to 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil.
they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not
work in zero gravity.
To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade
and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity,
upside down, underwater, on almost any surface
including glass and at temperatures ranging from below
freezing to 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil.
••
Support BINGO!
Keep Grandma off the streets.
Keep Grandma off the streets.
••••
