Boobies are funny looking..
••
♥
That depressing moment when you dip your cookie into
milk for too long, it breaks off, and you wonder why bad
things happen to good people.
milk for too long, it breaks off, and you wonder why bad
things happen to good people.
••
Last night I played a blank tape... at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts.
The mime next door went nuts.
••
Three men went to hell.
The devil said to them;
“You have come to hell, and you must now choose
whether to spend eternity inroom 1, 2 or 3".
He then opened the doors to the three rooms.
Room 1 was filled with men standing on their heads,
on a hard wooden floor.
Room 2 was filled with men standing on the heads,
on a cement floor.
Finally, Room 3 had just a few men, standing in shit
up to their knees and drinking coffee.
The men thought for a while, and decided to go with
room 3, as it was less crowded and they could drink
coffee.
They entered the door to room 3 and just as it was
closing behind them, the devil said “OK men, coffee
break’s over..... Back on your heads."
The devil said to them;
“You have come to hell, and you must now choose
whether to spend eternity inroom 1, 2 or 3".
He then opened the doors to the three rooms.
Room 1 was filled with men standing on their heads,
on a hard wooden floor.
Room 2 was filled with men standing on the heads,
on a cement floor.
Finally, Room 3 had just a few men, standing in shit
up to their knees and drinking coffee.
The men thought for a while, and decided to go with
room 3, as it was less crowded and they could drink
coffee.
They entered the door to room 3 and just as it was
closing behind them, the devil said “OK men, coffee
break’s over..... Back on your heads."
••
I was going to tell a vacuum joke but it sucks...
••
Why is it that women always say they can multitask,
but they can never have a headache and have sex at the
same time?
but they can never have a headache and have sex at the
same time?
••
That moment when you hit your pinkie toe on a corner
and feel like the world is about to end.
and feel like the world is about to end.
••
The thing I hate the most about the subway is every time
I get off the train and I'm trying to get out of the station
and back up to the street, I end up getting stuck behind
these really slow people on the stairs.
It happens to me every time I take the subway.
It's been happening to me for years.
And my question is this: how the hell do they keep
beating me to the stairway?
I get off the train and I'm trying to get out of the station
and back up to the street, I end up getting stuck behind
these really slow people on the stairs.
It happens to me every time I take the subway.
It's been happening to me for years.
And my question is this: how the hell do they keep
beating me to the stairway?
••
There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness
was until I got married...and then it was too late!"
was until I got married...and then it was too late!"
••
Sister: Dude look at this.
Me: No thanks I’m constipated.
Sister: What’s that suppose to mean?
Me: That I don’t give a crap.
Me: No thanks I’m constipated.
Sister: What’s that suppose to mean?
Me: That I don’t give a crap.
••••
