••
♥
If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a
field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get
an abortion — you might live in a nation that was
founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get
an abortion — you might live in a nation that was
founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
••
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open
Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again.
Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir.
Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote
click'."
Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again.
Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir.
Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote
click'."
••
The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal
Commission for Political Correctness announced today
that the climate in the UK should no longer be referred
to as "English Weather".
Rather than offend a sizeable portion of the UK
population, it will now be referred to as "Muslim Weather".
Partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite.
The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal
Commission for Political Correctness announced today
that the climate in the UK should no longer be referred
to as "English Weather".
Rather than offend a sizeable portion of the UK
population, it will now be referred to as "Muslim Weather".
Partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite.
••
“Why did the banana put on sun-tan lotion?
To keep from peeling.”
To keep from peeling.”
••
Great Grnadfather had been playing golf whenever
possible for over 88 years.
Today had been no exception, he was out early and
played his 18.
Directly after golf he attended his great, great grandson's
wedding.
During the wedding reception, he was conversing with
his great, great grandson, giving advice on having a
happy marriage and a great life.
After a while the young groom said "Grandfather what's
it like making love when you reach your age."
And he replied, "Well, its kinda like putting with a rope."
possible for over 88 years.
Today had been no exception, he was out early and
played his 18.
Directly after golf he attended his great, great grandson's
wedding.
During the wedding reception, he was conversing with
his great, great grandson, giving advice on having a
happy marriage and a great life.
After a while the young groom said "Grandfather what's
it like making love when you reach your age."
And he replied, "Well, its kinda like putting with a rope."
••
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number.
You answered the wrong phone.
You answered the wrong phone.
••
We were driving through the Welsh countryside when
my little girl said, "Look at that strange animal daddy,
man at the back, sheep at the front."
my little girl said, "Look at that strange animal daddy,
man at the back, sheep at the front."
••
This morning as I was buttoning my shirt a button fell
off.
After that, I picked up my briefcase and the handle fell off.
Then I went to open the door and the doorknob fell off.
I got into my car and the door handle came off in my
hand.
Now I badly need to pee...
off.
After that, I picked up my briefcase and the handle fell off.
Then I went to open the door and the doorknob fell off.
I got into my car and the door handle came off in my
hand.
Now I badly need to pee...
••
Why did God stop making Pegasus's?
Because it took too long to clean their crap off his
windshield.
Because it took too long to clean their crap off his
windshield.
••••
