and you thought Snoopy wasn't real....
••
♥
A Lawyer will do anything to win a case,
sometimes he will even tell the truth.
sometimes he will even tell the truth.
••
Yesterday was Independence Day in America.
The day we Americans celebrate the freedom to be spied
on by our own government.
The day we Americans celebrate the freedom to be spied
on by our own government.
••
I read this on the Internet -- did you know that 4th of
July is more popular in this country than in any other
country in the whole world?
July is more popular in this country than in any other
country in the whole world?
••
At recent trade talks the American representative offered
to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to
the Russians.
American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any
phone and dial 9-1-1.
This will record the call and connect them with the police."
Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial
anything."
to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to
the Russians.
American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any
phone and dial 9-1-1.
This will record the call and connect them with the police."
Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial
anything."
••
Q: Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his
head in his cornflakes?
A: The police thought it was a cereal killer.
head in his cornflakes?
A: The police thought it was a cereal killer.
••
Old is Great....
An old Woman was asked, "At your ripe age, what would
you prefer to get : Parkinsons or Alzheimers?"
The wise one answered, "Definitely Parkinsons -
Better to spill half my wine than to forget where I keep
the bottle."
An old Woman was asked, "At your ripe age, what would
you prefer to get : Parkinsons or Alzheimers?"
The wise one answered, "Definitely Parkinsons -
Better to spill half my wine than to forget where I keep
the bottle."
••
My wife asked me if I still feel the same about her as
when we first got together.
"Well my stomach still does a little flip" I said.
"Butterflies?" she blushed.
"Nope" I replied. "Food poisoning."
when we first got together.
"Well my stomach still does a little flip" I said.
"Butterflies?" she blushed.
"Nope" I replied. "Food poisoning."
••
Do you know what happened back in 1850, in CA
California became a state.
The State had no electricity.
The State had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gun fights in the streets.
So basically, it was just like California today except the
women had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands.
California became a state.
The State had no electricity.
The State had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gun fights in the streets.
So basically, it was just like California today except the
women had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands.
••
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.
Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother
you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.
Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother
you for weeks, months, maybe years.
••
I was telling my son about an amazing outdoor water
park I visited.
I said, "You would love it, I can't wait to show you the
slides."
Excited, he replied, "Is this for real?"
"Of course," I smiled.
"Now go set up the projector."
park I visited.
I said, "You would love it, I can't wait to show you the
slides."
Excited, he replied, "Is this for real?"
"Of course," I smiled.
"Now go set up the projector."
••••
