# 248

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The maids revenge...
Just after the maid had been fired.
She took five bucks from her purse, she threw it to Fido,
the family dog.
When asked why by her former employer, she answered,
"I never forget a friend.
This was for helping me clean the dishes all the time!

 

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Joe: What is the role of Market Analysts?
Harry: They are professionals who will know tomorrow
why the things they predicted yesterday didn't happen
today!

 

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“Soup operas were the big winners at the Cans Film
Festival.”

 

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Phobia: coprastasophobia Fear of: constipation.....

 

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A woman phoned her male neighbor and said:
"Close your curtains the next time you & your wife are
having sex.
The whole street was watching and laughing at you
yesterday."
To which the man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you
because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

 

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Most men prefer looks to brains because they see better
than they think.

 

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I'm starting a new business . . . 
It's called Condoms & Coffins.
Our motto is: "We cover all stiffs, whether you're
coming or going!"

 

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I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good
father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

 

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Q. Why are mountain climbers inquisitive?
A. They always want to take another peak. 

 

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A man notices a beautiful blonde sitting at the end of the
bar.
He calls the bartender over and tells him he wants to buy
her a drink.
"It won't do you any good, buddy," says the bartender.
"you see, she's a lesbian."
The man buys the drink and after a while, he calls the
bartender over again and orders another drink for the
lady.
"Alright, if you want to," says the bartender, "but like I
told you, she's a lesbian."

 

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After another round, he slides down to the end of the bar,
smiles at her and whispers, "So, what part of Lesbia are
you from?"

 

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