••
♥
What's grey and goes round and round?
An elephant in a washing machine!
An elephant in a washing machine!
••
An elderly man and woman sitting in the conservatory
of an old peoples home.
The old man turns to the old woman and says ,
"If you pay me five dollars, I will have sex with you on
that rocking chair over there.
For ten dollars, I will have sex with you on that couch.
But for twenty dollars, I will ll take you to my room,
light a few candles and give you a romantic evening of
passion you will never forget."
The woman considers it a moment and then, after
searching through her purse, produces a twenty dollar
note.
The old man says, "So, you want the romantic night in
my room, eh?"
The old woman replies, "No, I want it four times in the
rocker."!!
of an old peoples home.
The old man turns to the old woman and says ,
"If you pay me five dollars, I will have sex with you on
that rocking chair over there.
For ten dollars, I will have sex with you on that couch.
But for twenty dollars, I will ll take you to my room,
light a few candles and give you a romantic evening of
passion you will never forget."
The woman considers it a moment and then, after
searching through her purse, produces a twenty dollar
note.
The old man says, "So, you want the romantic night in
my room, eh?"
The old woman replies, "No, I want it four times in the
rocker."!!
••
Bacon doesn't start wars.
It's people who don't eat bacon that start wars.
It's people who don't eat bacon that start wars.
••
Guy sits down at a bar... and orders a drink, when he
gets it, he exclaims... "Hey look! an ice cube with a hole
in it!"
The drunk sitting next to him says "What's so unique
about that?
I been married to one for 20 years!"
gets it, he exclaims... "Hey look! an ice cube with a hole
in it!"
The drunk sitting next to him says "What's so unique
about that?
I been married to one for 20 years!"
••
Who's Quote is it?
"The best activities for your health are pumping and
humping." ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger
"The best activities for your health are pumping and
humping." ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger
••
Maybe a mask is a good idea.....
The average talker sprays about 300 microscopic saliva
drops per minute--about 2.5 droplets per word.
The average talker sprays about 300 microscopic saliva
drops per minute--about 2.5 droplets per word.
••
Here in Kentucky you don't see too many people
hang-gliding.
Ol' Zeek decided to save up and get a hang-glider.
He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling
to the top, he gets ready to take flight.
He takes off running and reaches the edge--into the wind
he goes!
Meanwhile, Maw and Paw Hicks were sittin' on the porch
swing talkin bout the good ol days when maw spots the
biggest bird she ever seen!
"Look at the size of that bird, Paw!" she exclaims.
Paw raises up," Git my gun, Maw."
She runs into the house, brings out his pump shotgun.
He takes careful aim.
BANG...BANG.....BANG.....BANG!
The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the
tree tops.
"I think ya missed him, Paw," she says.
"Yeah," he replies, "but at least he let go of ol' Zeek!"
hang-gliding.
Ol' Zeek decided to save up and get a hang-glider.
He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling
to the top, he gets ready to take flight.
He takes off running and reaches the edge--into the wind
he goes!
Meanwhile, Maw and Paw Hicks were sittin' on the porch
swing talkin bout the good ol days when maw spots the
biggest bird she ever seen!
"Look at the size of that bird, Paw!" she exclaims.
Paw raises up," Git my gun, Maw."
She runs into the house, brings out his pump shotgun.
He takes careful aim.
BANG...BANG.....BANG.....BANG!
The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the
tree tops.
"I think ya missed him, Paw," she says.
"Yeah," he replies, "but at least he let go of ol' Zeek!"
••
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you
can't resist..
can't resist..
••
A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London.
He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio
as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen
to music because in the time of the prophet there was
no music, especially Western music which is the music
of the infidel.
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped
the cab and opened the door.
The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing? "
The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there
were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel!"
He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio
as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen
to music because in the time of the prophet there was
no music, especially Western music which is the music
of the infidel.
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped
the cab and opened the door.
The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing? "
The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there
were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel!"
••
What' s grey, has four legs and jumps up and down?
An elephant on a trampoline!
An elephant on a trampoline!
••
My brother was so mean when I was a child.
He used to glue the pages of his porn magazines together
so I couldn't look at them.
He used to glue the pages of his porn magazines together
so I couldn't look at them.
••
Some people take beautiful pictures and cut them into
pieces.
That's a puzzle to me.
pieces.
That's a puzzle to me.
••••
