Down Hummingbird Lane

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Sorry, I missed yesterday... The ISP was down...

 

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♥

 

It's proving very difficult to find a shop selling
"Left Guard" for my other armpit...

 

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A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ...
"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in
Louisiana ."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana
'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later
than in the rest of the world."

 

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“I really wanted a camouflage shirt, but I couldn't find one.”

 

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My next door neighbour said, "I haven't seen your wife
for quite a while."
I said, "She's staying with her Mother, down under."
He said, "Australia?"
I said, "No, the flower bed."

 

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I hate it when you're drying between your arse cheeks
with a towel and you get chit on it.
It happened to me today.
So I put the towel back while my wife wasn't looking.
Grabbed another one and took it to the checkout.

 

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I just watched my dog chase it's tail for ten minutes and
I thought "man, dogs are easily entertained" and then I
realised I'd just watched my dog chase it's tail for
ten minutes.....

 

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A blonde is watching the news with her husband when
the newscaster announces that six Brazilian men died
in a skydiving accident.
The blonde starts sobbing uncontrollably.
 Confused, her husband says: "It is sad, but they were
skydiving...... There were risks involved."
Pretender
"I know," the blonde says.
"But how many is a Brazilian?"

 

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I called that Rape Support.....  hotline earlier today.
Unfortunately, it’s only for victims.

 

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I was stopped by a Vietnamese prostitute in the park
last night.
She smiled and said, "I'll eat you for breakfast,
you handsome thing."
I still don't know whether she was talking to me or my
dog.

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