••
♥
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the
Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
••
After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up
to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realised he had made it home safely.
to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realised he had made it home safely.
••
A recent article in the Daily Progress reported that a
woman has sued her local hospital, saying that after her
husband was treated there recently, he had lost all
interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied, “The man was actually
admitted in Ophthalmology - all we did was correct his
eyesight...”
woman has sued her local hospital, saying that after her
husband was treated there recently, he had lost all
interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied, “The man was actually
admitted in Ophthalmology - all we did was correct his
eyesight...”
••
If you can show me a man with a comb over,
I can show you a man who thinks that by crushing a
bag of chips, you make more chips.
I can show you a man who thinks that by crushing a
bag of chips, you make more chips.
••
A little boy opened the big Bible.
He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
He picked up the object and looked at it.
What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in
between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found!" the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered
"I think it's Adam's underwear!"
He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
He picked up the object and looked at it.
What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in
between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found!" the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered
"I think it's Adam's underwear!"
••
Having carried his new wife across the threshold the
husband said to her; before we make love I've got a
guessing game I would like to play with you.
In an excited mood, the eager new wife said; oh I love
guessing games.
Good he said, I’m going down to the pub, you sit here
and guess what time I'll be home!
He got divorce papers served on him at the pub.
husband said to her; before we make love I've got a
guessing game I would like to play with you.
In an excited mood, the eager new wife said; oh I love
guessing games.
Good he said, I’m going down to the pub, you sit here
and guess what time I'll be home!
He got divorce papers served on him at the pub.
••
The cure for stupidity:
A shock collar... It either puts an end to people’s stupidity
or you can laugh from watching them flail around.....
A shock collar... It either puts an end to people’s stupidity
or you can laugh from watching them flail around.....
••
Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle.
"I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the
happiest day of your life."
"But I'm not getting married until tomorrow."
Protested his nephew.
"I know," replied the uncle.
"That's exactly what I mean."
"I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the
happiest day of your life."
"But I'm not getting married until tomorrow."
Protested his nephew.
"I know," replied the uncle.
"That's exactly what I mean."
••
People who don't eat a slice of cheese every time they
open their fridge are probably serial killers.
open their fridge are probably serial killers.
••••
