••
♥
Two horses were galloping along when one stumbled and
landed on its side.
After a number of tries the tumbled equine finally regained
his footing, but when he tried to run to catch up to his buddy
he found he couldn't even trot.
Calling after his friend he neighed, "I've fallen and I can't
giddy-up!"
landed on its side.
After a number of tries the tumbled equine finally regained
his footing, but when he tried to run to catch up to his buddy
he found he couldn't even trot.
Calling after his friend he neighed, "I've fallen and I can't
giddy-up!"
••
I was at the airport and it is so cold out there that to keep
warm, the TSA agents were actually putting their hands in
their own pants.
warm, the TSA agents were actually putting their hands in
their own pants.
••
Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That depends on whether it has health insurance.
A: That depends on whether it has health insurance.
••
George meets his best friend Michael in the street and is
very excited.
Asked why, George tells Michael that he has heard of a
brilliant new brothel.
"Why is it brilliant?" asks Michael. George says,
"Well you go in there at 9am, have all the sex you can
handle until 12:30, stop for a 3 course lunch, and have all
the sex you can cope with until 4.30pm.
Then you have chocolate cake and coffee and just as you
leave they give you $500 in your hand!"
"Jesus!" says Michael.
"Where is this place?"
George says "I don't know, but I'll ask my wife tonight
when she comes home."
very excited.
Asked why, George tells Michael that he has heard of a
brilliant new brothel.
"Why is it brilliant?" asks Michael. George says,
"Well you go in there at 9am, have all the sex you can
handle until 12:30, stop for a 3 course lunch, and have all
the sex you can cope with until 4.30pm.
Then you have chocolate cake and coffee and just as you
leave they give you $500 in your hand!"
"Jesus!" says Michael.
"Where is this place?"
George says "I don't know, but I'll ask my wife tonight
when she comes home."
••
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar
powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
••
Someone got offended by my bumper sticker.....
It said, "CAUTION: Blind Driver."
Lady got all upset and said it was offensive to blind people.
I said, "What's the problem? They can't see it anyhow."
So I just put my guide dog in the back and drove away.
She apparently couldn't see the humor in it all.
It said, "CAUTION: Blind Driver."
Lady got all upset and said it was offensive to blind people.
I said, "What's the problem? They can't see it anyhow."
So I just put my guide dog in the back and drove away.
She apparently couldn't see the humor in it all.
••
My father's father wanted to know if he could stay with the
company in spite of the many changes.
They ended up grandfathering him in.”
company in spite of the many changes.
They ended up grandfathering him in.”
••
My wifes getting heavy. So we bought a King size bed.
I still have to sleep on the floor.
I still have to sleep on the floor.
••
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have
no blood pumping through them, they can never have an
erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely, Logic.......
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have
no blood pumping through them, they can never have an
erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely, Logic.......
••
Q: What does a proud computer call his little son?
A: A microchip off the old block.
A: A microchip off the old block.
••••
