••
♥
Remember for the Holiday Weekend......
Ten per cent of all accidents on the road are caused by
people who have been drinking.
So ninety per cent of accidents are due to people who are
stone cold sober.
So pick your designated driver carefully!
Have a wonderful weekend!.......
Ten per cent of all accidents on the road are caused by
people who have been drinking.
So ninety per cent of accidents are due to people who are
stone cold sober.
So pick your designated driver carefully!
Have a wonderful weekend!.......
••
Two drunken men were driving home.
The first started screaming: - Jim, watch out for the wall,
watch out for the waaaaall!
Baaaaam!
They hit the wall.
The next day in the hospital the first man asked his friend:
- You good for nothing, I've been screaming for you to
watch out, why didn't you?
Jim answered him: - IT WAS YOU DRIVING!!!
The first started screaming: - Jim, watch out for the wall,
watch out for the waaaaall!
Baaaaam!
They hit the wall.
The next day in the hospital the first man asked his friend:
- You good for nothing, I've been screaming for you to
watch out, why didn't you?
Jim answered him: - IT WAS YOU DRIVING!!!
••
Phillip and Phoebe are parked in Lover's Lane.
He embraces her with one arm, and begins to explore with
the other hand.
Looking over her shoulder, he sees a policeman approaching.
"Awwwww Hell !" he murmured, "Fuzz !"
"What did ya expect ?" Phoebe sez, "A perm?"
He embraces her with one arm, and begins to explore with
the other hand.
Looking over her shoulder, he sees a policeman approaching.
"Awwwww Hell !" he murmured, "Fuzz !"
"What did ya expect ?" Phoebe sez, "A perm?"
••
Gives a lot of bull for somebody what ain't got no cattle.
••
Some people are like slinkies.
They serve absolutely no useful purpose.
But still put a smile on your face when pushed down a
flight of stairs.
They serve absolutely no useful purpose.
But still put a smile on your face when pushed down a
flight of stairs.
••
Wife "What would you like to do today?"
Husband: "I'm not sure.
Let's think..."
Wife: "No, let's do something that you can do, too."
Husband: "I'm not sure.
Let's think..."
Wife: "No, let's do something that you can do, too."
••
Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on
four decades.
Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom
in Bill's yard.
For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.
So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom
in Bill's yard.
After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's
yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front
of Bill's house.
Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the
18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemnly.
four decades.
Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom
in Bill's yard.
For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.
So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom
in Bill's yard.
After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's
yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front
of Bill's house.
Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the
18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemnly.
••
Project management is like making love; no matter how well
planned it is, you always end up in a rush.
Project management is like making love; no matter how well
planned it is, you always end up in a rush.
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