••
How do you know when a blonde's been sending e-mail?
Envelopes in the disk drive.
Envelopes in the disk drive.
••
The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop
urinating in the pool.
"Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from
time to time, young children will urinate in a pool."
"Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board!?!?"
urinating in the pool.
"Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from
time to time, young children will urinate in a pool."
"Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board!?!?"
••
My favorite place to taser people: the Renaissance Fair.
The Renaissance Fair cause it makes me feel like an evil
wizard from the future.
The Renaissance Fair cause it makes me feel like an evil
wizard from the future.
••
A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at
night.
The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and
purred... "I'll die for you"
The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and
asked,
"How many times?".
night.
The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and
purred... "I'll die for you"
The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and
asked,
"How many times?".
••
A man whose wife had just given birth to their first child
was visiting the hospital nursery to see his new son.
As the proud father was admiring his handsome baby
through the glass partition, he could not help but notice
that the baby in the next bassinet seemed frail and sickly
looking by comparison.
Just then a nurse went walking by and the man stopped
her for a moment.
"What's the matter with that little fellow?" he asked.
"He seems awfully puny and underweight."
"He's one of those artificial insemination babies," explained
the nurse, and he's been coming along rather slowly,
I'm afraid."
"Well, that sort of confirms a theory of mine," said the man.
"What's that?" asked the nurse.
The man replied with a smile., ...
"Spare the rod and spoil the child."
was visiting the hospital nursery to see his new son.
As the proud father was admiring his handsome baby
through the glass partition, he could not help but notice
that the baby in the next bassinet seemed frail and sickly
looking by comparison.
Just then a nurse went walking by and the man stopped
her for a moment.
"What's the matter with that little fellow?" he asked.
"He seems awfully puny and underweight."
"He's one of those artificial insemination babies," explained
the nurse, and he's been coming along rather slowly,
I'm afraid."
"Well, that sort of confirms a theory of mine," said the man.
"What's that?" asked the nurse.
The man replied with a smile., ...
"Spare the rod and spoil the child."
••
"When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at
least."
"You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look
that old."
least."
"You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look
that old."
••
I said to the window cleaner, "I've confiscated your ladders.
And if I catch you looking at my wife through the bedroom
window again, further steps will be taken."
And if I catch you looking at my wife through the bedroom
window again, further steps will be taken."
••
Why don't blondes like to breastfeed their babies?
It hurts to boil their nipples!
It hurts to boil their nipples!
••••
