••
♥
How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?
It is the one with the kickstand.
It is the one with the kickstand.
••
Q: What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front
of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?
A: Prom.
of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?
A: Prom.
••
A Native American chief has three wives living in three
wigwams and one day he offers them new bed covers.
The first asks for a buffalo-skin hide as a cover, and this is
duly delivered.
The second wife asks for a bear-skin hide and, although
this is more dangerous to catch, one is eventually bought
to her.
The third wife is the youngest and prettiest and she asks
for a hippopotamus-skin hide as a bed cover.
This proves extremely difficult to find, but eventually she
has her wish.
Nine months later the first wife gives birth to a boy,
the second wife gives birth to a girl, and the third wife
has twins – a boy and a girl.
Which goes to prove that the squaw on the hippopotamus
is equal to the squaw on the other two hides.
In PUN we believe!
wigwams and one day he offers them new bed covers.
The first asks for a buffalo-skin hide as a cover, and this is
duly delivered.
The second wife asks for a bear-skin hide and, although
this is more dangerous to catch, one is eventually bought
to her.
The third wife is the youngest and prettiest and she asks
for a hippopotamus-skin hide as a bed cover.
This proves extremely difficult to find, but eventually she
has her wish.
Nine months later the first wife gives birth to a boy,
the second wife gives birth to a girl, and the third wife
has twins – a boy and a girl.
Which goes to prove that the squaw on the hippopotamus
is equal to the squaw on the other two hides.
In PUN we believe!
••
“Everyone should be able to do one card trick,
tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are
ever trapped in an elevator.”
tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are
ever trapped in an elevator.”
••
What do you call an overweight knight who is about to be
captured ?
Sir Rounded...
captured ?
Sir Rounded...
••
“A young lady who had just been dumped by her boyfriend
seemed unusually cheerful.
Someone asked her why, and she replied that, sooner or
later,time wounds all heels.”
seemed unusually cheerful.
Someone asked her why, and she replied that, sooner or
later,time wounds all heels.”
••
A hippie saunters into an urban Bar & Grill
and orders a cheeseburger.
"But make sure to make it not too well done, not too rare,
but just in the groove."
The waiter is a little annoyed at this, but serves him the
burger.
"Waiter!" the hippie says after a little bit.
"Could I get a cup of tea? Not too weak, not too strong,
but just in the groove."
More annoyed now, the waiter contemplates pissing in the
tea, but doesn''t.
"Waiter!" the hippies says a little later.
"Could I get some ice cream? Not too chocolate, not too
vanilla, but just in the groove."
"Wait," said the waiter.
"I have another idea.
How ''bout you kiss my ass?
Not too much to the right, not too much to the left,
but just in the groove."
and orders a cheeseburger.
"But make sure to make it not too well done, not too rare,
but just in the groove."
The waiter is a little annoyed at this, but serves him the
burger.
"Waiter!" the hippie says after a little bit.
"Could I get a cup of tea? Not too weak, not too strong,
but just in the groove."
More annoyed now, the waiter contemplates pissing in the
tea, but doesn''t.
"Waiter!" the hippies says a little later.
"Could I get some ice cream? Not too chocolate, not too
vanilla, but just in the groove."
"Wait," said the waiter.
"I have another idea.
How ''bout you kiss my ass?
Not too much to the right, not too much to the left,
but just in the groove."
••
“The ophthalmologist was called to testify because
he was the only eye witness.”
he was the only eye witness.”
••
I had a look at my horoscope this morning and it said an
ex from my past would suddenly pop up.
So I've been waiting by the river all day, you know,
just in case she actually does....
ex from my past would suddenly pop up.
So I've been waiting by the river all day, you know,
just in case she actually does....
••••
