••
♥
English teacher says to her student: Sam, please use the
word "wagon" in a sentence.
Sam: If I told my dog to stop wagon his tail, he would still
wag on..
word "wagon" in a sentence.
Sam: If I told my dog to stop wagon his tail, he would still
wag on..
••
The divorce court was attentive as the wealthy Yuppette
complained to the Judge that her husband had left her bed
and board.
When she had finished, the husband's lawyer rose to his feet
and coolly replied, "Your Honor, I have a slight correction
in the typing of the charging documents.
My client claims that he left her bed 'bored'."
complained to the Judge that her husband had left her bed
and board.
When she had finished, the husband's lawyer rose to his feet
and coolly replied, "Your Honor, I have a slight correction
in the typing of the charging documents.
My client claims that he left her bed 'bored'."
••
"Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?"
"A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my
suede jacket.
‘You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?’ she sneered.
I replied in a psychotic tone, ‘I didn’t know there were any
witnesses.
Now I’ll have to kill you too." -- Jake Johansen
suede jacket.
‘You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?’ she sneered.
I replied in a psychotic tone, ‘I didn’t know there were any
witnesses.
Now I’ll have to kill you too." -- Jake Johansen
••
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police! Come out with your hands up...
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police! Come out with your hands up...
••
Wife: Okay, Friday's pay day.
Where's your pay envelope?
Man: I already spent all my pay.
I bought something for the house.
Wife: What? What could you buy for the
house that cost $580?
Man: Eight rounds of drinks.
Where's your pay envelope?
Man: I already spent all my pay.
I bought something for the house.
Wife: What? What could you buy for the
house that cost $580?
Man: Eight rounds of drinks.
••
A man had a watch that didnt work.
He ask his friend to tell what is wrong.
The friend say " Its because the watch is on your right hand."
The man puts the watch on his left hand and says
"Oh there we go!"
He ask his friend to tell what is wrong.
The friend say " Its because the watch is on your right hand."
The man puts the watch on his left hand and says
"Oh there we go!"
••
Dolphins are so intelligent that within a few weeks of
captivity they can train a man to stand on the edge of their
pool and throw them fish three times a day.
captivity they can train a man to stand on the edge of their
pool and throw them fish three times a day.
••
While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an
article about a beautiful actress and model who married
a boxer who was not noted for his IQ.
"I'll never understand," he said to his wife,
"why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."
His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear."
article about a beautiful actress and model who married
a boxer who was not noted for his IQ.
"I'll never understand," he said to his wife,
"why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."
His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear."
••••
