Down Hummingbird Lane

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Did you hear about the pregnant bed bug?
She's having a baby in the spring!

 

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I really think the Mars Rover is scouting for the next
Wal-Mart Superstore site.

 

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A construction worker goes to the doctor and says,
"Doc, I'm constipated."
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says,
"Lean over the table."
The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor
whacks him on the ass with a baseball bat, CRACK...
and then sends him into the bathroom.
He comes out a few minutes later and says,
"Doc, I feel great.
What should I do to prevent constipation? "
The doctor says, "Stop wiping with empty cement bags."

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Children used to ask where they came from.
Now they tell you where to go.

 

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Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few
weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the
very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

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If women are so great at multitasking then why is it so
hard for them to have sex and a headache at the same time?

 

•• 

The toilet seat was invented in Minnesota,
but twenty years later an Iowan invented the hole in it.

 

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The detective noticed a dead blonde lying with a great big
smile on her face.
The detective asked how did she die to have that big smile
on her face, to which the attendant replied, "Hit by lightning.
Thought she was having her picture taken."

 

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If a rabbit is raised indoors, it would be an ingrown hare.

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Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have
had years and years of training can, using only their hands
and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of
the world.
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