••
♥
While hitting the local flea market, the wife and I stopped by
an Amish booth, where we looked at information explaining
why they shun any type of modern technology.
On our way out, the wife bought a neat little refrigerator
magnet at their gift shop.
an Amish booth, where we looked at information explaining
why they shun any type of modern technology.
On our way out, the wife bought a neat little refrigerator
magnet at their gift shop.
••
Sears; pressure cookers are flying off the shelves....
••
Useless knowledge;
Hair grows slowest at night.
It’s growth speeds up in the morning, slows down in the afternoon,
and accelerates again in the evening.
Hair grows faster in summer than in winter.
Hair grows slowest at night.
It’s growth speeds up in the morning, slows down in the afternoon,
and accelerates again in the evening.
Hair grows faster in summer than in winter.
••
Sam asks daddy, "can we go to McDonalds?"
Daddy said, "You can if you can spell it."
Sam replied, "Lets just go to KFC instead."
Daddy said, "You can if you can spell it."
Sam replied, "Lets just go to KFC instead."
••
Says it all about getting older & the whole aging thing.
An elderly couple, Lucy & John, were recently attending church
services at The Villages.
About halfway through the service, Lucy took a pen and paper
out of her purse, wrote a note and handed it to John .
The note said:" I just let out a silent fa-rt, what do you think
I should do?"
John scribbled back, " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
An elderly couple, Lucy & John, were recently attending church
services at The Villages.
About halfway through the service, Lucy took a pen and paper
out of her purse, wrote a note and handed it to John .
The note said:" I just let out a silent fa-rt, what do you think
I should do?"
John scribbled back, " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
••
Why was everyone so tired on April 1st?
they had just finished a March of 31 days...
they had just finished a March of 31 days...
••
A woman sends her clothing out to the Chinese laundry.
When it comes back there are still stains in her panties.
The next week she encloses a note to the Chinese man that says,
"Use more soap on panties."
This goes on for several weeks, the woman sending the same
note to the laundry.
"Use more soap on panties."
Finally fed up the Chinese man responded with his own note
that said, "Use more paper on butt."
When it comes back there are still stains in her panties.
The next week she encloses a note to the Chinese man that says,
"Use more soap on panties."
This goes on for several weeks, the woman sending the same
note to the laundry.
"Use more soap on panties."
Finally fed up the Chinese man responded with his own note
that said, "Use more paper on butt."
••
Two bats are hanging in a cave and one says to the other
"The thing that worries me most about getting old is
incontinence."
"The thing that worries me most about getting old is
incontinence."
••
Joe the farmer's wife gave him a plate of grass for his dinner.
"What the hell's this?" he exploded.
"If its good enough for you girlfriend then it's good enough
for you!"she said.
"What the hell's this?" he exploded.
"If its good enough for you girlfriend then it's good enough
for you!"she said.
••
I'm reminded of the time that a tornado tore through the farm
and slammed grandma's rooster up against the barn and
stripped every feather of the poor beast.
He was bare and shivering in the cold and grandma felt
powerful sorry for him.
So she got a pair of grandpa's old bib overalls out of the rag bag
and cut them down and sewed them up to fit the old rooster.
and slammed grandma's rooster up against the barn and
stripped every feather of the poor beast.
He was bare and shivering in the cold and grandma felt
powerful sorry for him.
So she got a pair of grandpa's old bib overalls out of the rag bag
and cut them down and sewed them up to fit the old rooster.
We asked her, "Grandma do you know how funny your old
rooster looks runnin' around in them bib overalls?"
And grandma said, "It ain't half as funny as watchin' him hold
down a chicken with one foot while he tries to get them straps
off with the other".
rooster looks runnin' around in them bib overalls?"
And grandma said, "It ain't half as funny as watchin' him hold
down a chicken with one foot while he tries to get them straps
off with the other".
••••
