••
♥
Q. Have you heard of the dyslexic cow who attained
enlightenment?
A. It kept on repeating OOOOMMM!
enlightenment?
A. It kept on repeating OOOOMMM!
••
A husband suspects his wife is having an affair with a pilot but
she keeps denying it until finally the husband just knew it when
his wife said: Honey, I've told you once, I've told you twice, I've told
you niner thousand times, negative on the affair ...
she keeps denying it until finally the husband just knew it when
his wife said: Honey, I've told you once, I've told you twice, I've told
you niner thousand times, negative on the affair ...
••
Ice skating is now on my list of things in life I never care if I
do again.
Its like an anti-bucket list -- it rhymes with bucket,
I can tell you that much.
do again.
Its like an anti-bucket list -- it rhymes with bucket,
I can tell you that much.
••
I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.
Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had
in mind.
Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had
in mind.
••
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is
wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a somewhat conservative
fellow, so naturally he's curious about the sudden change in
fashion sense.
The man walks up to his co-worker and says, "I didn't know
you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies
sheepishly.
"Well, I'm curious," begged the man, "how long have you been
wearing an earring?"
"Uhm, ever since my wife found it in our bed."
wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a somewhat conservative
fellow, so naturally he's curious about the sudden change in
fashion sense.
The man walks up to his co-worker and says, "I didn't know
you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies
sheepishly.
"Well, I'm curious," begged the man, "how long have you been
wearing an earring?"
"Uhm, ever since my wife found it in our bed."
••
I went to the store today to buy a pressure cooker only to find
out there is now a mandatory background check and a 10 day
waiting period.
Of course, the fully automatic pressure cookers are completely
banned, but you can still get the semi-automatic ones.
I have friends who think civilians should not be allowed to
own pressure cookers, only the Military should have them for
use on the battlefield.
As for me, I am clinging to my pressure cooker and my bible.
They can have my pressure cooker when they pry it from my
cold dead hands.
Please join and pledge your support to the NCPA....
(Nat'l Pressure Cooker Assn.)
out there is now a mandatory background check and a 10 day
waiting period.
Of course, the fully automatic pressure cookers are completely
banned, but you can still get the semi-automatic ones.
I have friends who think civilians should not be allowed to
own pressure cookers, only the Military should have them for
use on the battlefield.
As for me, I am clinging to my pressure cooker and my bible.
They can have my pressure cooker when they pry it from my
cold dead hands.
Please join and pledge your support to the NCPA....
(Nat'l Pressure Cooker Assn.)
••
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Beryl!
Beryl who?
Beryl of beer!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Beryl!
Beryl who?
Beryl of beer!
••
You know youre too high when youre eating cereal naked
and your girlfriend says, Put your clothes on, and then you
realize its not your girlfriend, its some woman on a bus..
and your girlfriend says, Put your clothes on, and then you
realize its not your girlfriend, its some woman on a bus..
••••
