Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

Sad news from the Nestle factory today as a man was
crushed to death by hundreds of boxes of chocolate.
He tried in vain to attract attention, but every time he yelled
'The Milky Bars are on me!' people just cheered.

 

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An optimist is a person who starts a
new diet on Thanksgiving Day.

 

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I've started a business building yachts in my attic.
Sails are going through the roof.

 

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Two old men, John and David, met at a park.
 John said, "Hey, where have you been all these years?"
 David replied, "I was in jail."
 "What? What did you do?" asked John.
 David said, "Well, I was standing at the marketplace when
this pretty young thing appeared with a policeman,
pointed to me and said, 'That's the guy, Officer.
He's the one who raped me'."
 "What? And you let her accuse you like that?"
 exclaimed John.
 "Well, you know I felt so flattered, I had to admit to it,"
replied David...

 

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As chairman of the Blind Society, I was accused of
needlessly wasting money.
So I arranged a fireworks display to cheer everyone up.

 

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If pro- is the opposite of con- then congress must be
the opposite of progress...

 

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A drunk walks into a bar with a wet, steaming pile of Chit
in his hands.
He looks over at the bartender with pride and says,
"Lookie what I almost stepped in!"

 

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Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener......

 

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