••
♥
Q: Why are blondes constantly running out of ice?
A: They forgot the recipe...
A: They forgot the recipe...
••
Just a thought: Nowadays, a man spends quite some time in
acquiring good physique rather than good knowledge.
Reason: He knows a woman may be dumb but not blind..
acquiring good physique rather than good knowledge.
Reason: He knows a woman may be dumb but not blind..
••
Why did your boss jump out of the window?" the detective
asked the secretary.
"I don't know", she sobbed, "he was always so nice to me.
Two months ago he gave me a fur coat, last month a sports
car and just today a diamond ring.
Then he asked, what it would cost to be able to ravish me."
"And what did you say?"
I just said, "The other men in the office always just give me
fifty bucks."
asked the secretary.
"I don't know", she sobbed, "he was always so nice to me.
Two months ago he gave me a fur coat, last month a sports
car and just today a diamond ring.
Then he asked, what it would cost to be able to ravish me."
"And what did you say?"
I just said, "The other men in the office always just give me
fifty bucks."
••
Sailing results are in, GB took gold, USA took silver and
Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Weymouth.
Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Weymouth.
••
Told by a woman:
I wanted to spice up my sex life with my husband.
I even read books about how to do this.
One book suggested stripping naked and wrapping everything
in saran wrap; so that's what I did.
Then I laid on the dining room table for my husband to see
as he walked in.
Bastard took one look at me and said, 'Leftovers again?'
I wanted to spice up my sex life with my husband.
I even read books about how to do this.
One book suggested stripping naked and wrapping everything
in saran wrap; so that's what I did.
Then I laid on the dining room table for my husband to see
as he walked in.
Bastard took one look at me and said, 'Leftovers again?'
••
I love wearing my pinwheel hat.
It makes me believe I can fly
...until the acid wears off, and I'm naked ...
on a motorway bridge ...riding a goat.
It makes me believe I can fly
...until the acid wears off, and I'm naked ...
on a motorway bridge ...riding a goat.
••
You know it will be a bad day when....
....the gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.
....your kids start treating you the same way you treated your
parents.
....you have to borrow from your VISA to pay off your
MASTERCARD.
....you realize that you just sprayed spot remover under your
arms instead of deodorant.
....your car payment, house payment, and girlfriend are three
months overdue.
....the gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.
....your kids start treating you the same way you treated your
parents.
....you have to borrow from your VISA to pay off your
MASTERCARD.
....you realize that you just sprayed spot remover under your
arms instead of deodorant.
....your car payment, house payment, and girlfriend are three
months overdue.
••
“When the window fell into the incinerator,
it was a pane in the ash to retrieve.”
it was a pane in the ash to retrieve.”
••••
