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Sad news from the Nestle factory today as a man was crushed
to death by hundreds of boxes of chocolate.
He tried in vain to attract attention, but every time he yelled
'The Milky Bars are on me!' people just cheered.
to death by hundreds of boxes of chocolate.
He tried in vain to attract attention, but every time he yelled
'The Milky Bars are on me!' people just cheered.
••
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
--Milton Berle--
--Milton Berle--
••
There’s a growing trend of older Americans who are
using marijuana in their retirement.
That makes sense because old people are always talking
about their joints.
using marijuana in their retirement.
That makes sense because old people are always talking
about their joints.
••
Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!
Yo mama so hairy she look like she got Buckwheat in a
headlock.
Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!
Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now
everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
Yo mama so hairy she look like she got Buckwheat in a
headlock.
Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!
Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now
everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
••
The comedian stopped at the fabric store on his
way to a comedy gig.
He was looking for new material.”
way to a comedy gig.
He was looking for new material.”
••
Did you hear about the moron who walked around the world?
He drowned.
He drowned.
••
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind
the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull
and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull."
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid,
who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant and
my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant."
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus
driver gets angry and yells at the kid,
"What if your dad was gay and your mom was a
prostitute?!"
The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!
the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull
and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull."
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid,
who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant and
my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant."
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus
driver gets angry and yells at the kid,
"What if your dad was gay and your mom was a
prostitute?!"
The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!
••
I'm so tired even the sheep I'm counting can't
make it over the fence..
make it over the fence..
••
Serena and her friend Tina got on the bus.
Both around seventeen, Tina was a little too plump
for her age.
Their journey was long and tedious.
They saw a young, fat and dumb looking man sitting
awkwardly a few seats ahead and decided to make
fun of him.
They went near his seat and stood there holding the
bar for support.
The man, out of sheer courtesy, tried to get up to
offer his seat to Tina.
Tina says,“No, no sir, please be seated.
Does not look nice when an old man stands up for
a young girl to sit.”
The young man retorts, “True and well said, my child.
But you see it is not proper for an old man to sit
when a pregnant woman stands beside him.”
Both around seventeen, Tina was a little too plump
for her age.
Their journey was long and tedious.
They saw a young, fat and dumb looking man sitting
awkwardly a few seats ahead and decided to make
fun of him.
They went near his seat and stood there holding the
bar for support.
The man, out of sheer courtesy, tried to get up to
offer his seat to Tina.
Tina says,“No, no sir, please be seated.
Does not look nice when an old man stands up for
a young girl to sit.”
The young man retorts, “True and well said, my child.
But you see it is not proper for an old man to sit
when a pregnant woman stands beside him.”
••
As you get older three things happen.
The first is your memory goes, and
I can't remember the other two...
The first is your memory goes, and
I can't remember the other two...
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