••
♥
Two guys are out drinking when one of them falls off his
barstool and lies motionless on the floor.
"One thing about Gus," his buddy says to the bartender.
"He knows when to stop."
barstool and lies motionless on the floor.
"One thing about Gus," his buddy says to the bartender.
"He knows when to stop."
••
If we aren't supposed to eat animals,
why are they made with meat?
why are they made with meat?
••
Proof that you can't ever underestimate the creativity of boys
for mischief.
Considering all the brilliant, devious minds we had in high
school, I don't know how we missed doing this....
At a high school in Montana , a group of students played a
prank.... they let three goats loose inside the school.
But before turning them loose, they painted numbers on the
sides of the goats:
1, 2, and 4.
School Administrators spent most of the day looking for No. 3.
for mischief.
Considering all the brilliant, devious minds we had in high
school, I don't know how we missed doing this....
At a high school in Montana , a group of students played a
prank.... they let three goats loose inside the school.
But before turning them loose, they painted numbers on the
sides of the goats:
1, 2, and 4.
School Administrators spent most of the day looking for No. 3.
••
I would add herbs to my food but I just don't have the
thyme.
thyme.
••
Mr. Jones had gangrene on his left leg and had to have it
cut off so he went to the doctor to have the operation.
During the operation the doctorcut off the good leg by
mistake.
So then the doctor had to cut off the leg that had gangrene.
After Mr. Jones came out of the operation he noticed that
both legs had been cut off.
Mr. Jones called his lawyer and filed a lawsuit against the
doctor.
Well the doctor and his lawyer had a long talk and the
lawyer told the doctor he was in big trouble.
I'm not worried, said the doctor.
Mr. Jones doesn't have a leg to stand on.
cut off so he went to the doctor to have the operation.
During the operation the doctorcut off the good leg by
mistake.
So then the doctor had to cut off the leg that had gangrene.
After Mr. Jones came out of the operation he noticed that
both legs had been cut off.
Mr. Jones called his lawyer and filed a lawsuit against the
doctor.
Well the doctor and his lawyer had a long talk and the
lawyer told the doctor he was in big trouble.
I'm not worried, said the doctor.
Mr. Jones doesn't have a leg to stand on.
••
A regular walks into a bar
and gets high fived in the face with a chair .
and gets high fived in the face with a chair .
••
A drunk walks into a drugstore and asks for a bottle of
mouthwash.
"I’m not selling you that," says the druggist.
"You’ll drink it for the alcohol and get sick outside
my door!"
"Not true!" insists the drunk.
"I have my first date in over a year, and I want to make a
good impression."
"Oh, I’m sorry. Here."
The druggist takes a bottle of mouthwash off the shelf
and puts it on the counter.
The drunk stares at it....... "Got one that’s been refrigerated?"
mouthwash.
"I’m not selling you that," says the druggist.
"You’ll drink it for the alcohol and get sick outside
my door!"
"Not true!" insists the drunk.
"I have my first date in over a year, and I want to make a
good impression."
"Oh, I’m sorry. Here."
The druggist takes a bottle of mouthwash off the shelf
and puts it on the counter.
The drunk stares at it....... "Got one that’s been refrigerated?"
••
Dad Couldn’t find the thingy that you use to peel potatoes and
carrots so he asked us kids if they’d seen it.
Apparently she left yesterday!
carrots so he asked us kids if they’d seen it.
Apparently she left yesterday!
••
Pisa Schitt was a very famous Italian car designer and
designed most Fiat cars.
Thus, when you hear a Fiat owner describing his car as that
"Pisa Schitt, Fiat"... you'll know immediately, he's referring
fondly to the designer.
designed most Fiat cars.
Thus, when you hear a Fiat owner describing his car as that
"Pisa Schitt, Fiat"... you'll know immediately, he's referring
fondly to the designer.
••
Decided to try a vegetarian diet......
But the damn vegetarians keep outrunnin' me.
But the damn vegetarians keep outrunnin' me.
•••
