••
♥
When I was a kid, my dad sat me down and showed
me pictures of why I should always wear a condom.
Funny thing is, they were all just pictures of me....
me pictures of why I should always wear a condom.
Funny thing is, they were all just pictures of me....
••
A man takes a lady out to dinner for the first time.
Later they go on to a show.
The evening is a huge success and as he drops her at
her door he says "I have had a lovely time.
You looked so beautiful, you remind me of a
beautiful rambling rose.
May I call on you tomorrow?"
She agrees and a date is made.
The next night he knocks on her door and when
she opens it she slaps him hard across the face.
He is stunned...... "What was that for?" he asked.
She said "I looked up rambling rose in the
encyclopaedia last night and it said 'Not well suited
to bedding but is excellent for rooting up against a
garden wall.'"
Later they go on to a show.
The evening is a huge success and as he drops her at
her door he says "I have had a lovely time.
You looked so beautiful, you remind me of a
beautiful rambling rose.
May I call on you tomorrow?"
She agrees and a date is made.
The next night he knocks on her door and when
she opens it she slaps him hard across the face.
He is stunned...... "What was that for?" he asked.
She said "I looked up rambling rose in the
encyclopaedia last night and it said 'Not well suited
to bedding but is excellent for rooting up against a
garden wall.'"
••
Useless knowledge...
The good news in 1547 in Britain was that the law
was amended to end the practice of boiling criminals
to death.
The bad news was that the punishment was changed
to burning them at the stake.
The good news in 1547 in Britain was that the law
was amended to end the practice of boiling criminals
to death.
The bad news was that the punishment was changed
to burning them at the stake.
••
Rembrandt painted 700 pictures.
Of these,
3,000 are still in existence.
3,000 are still in existence.
••
Some canadians decide to get out of the cold and go
somwhere far away.
They decide on Austrailia, and a few days later
arrive at the destination airport.
They decide, just for devilment, that they're going to
the local pub still in their parkas.
They want to see the looks on the locals'faces when
they walk in.
Leaving the airport, they have their bemused taxi
driver take them to a pub.
There, they take a table, remove their sealskin mitts,
and pull back their hoods, and order a couple of
pints.
Conversation in the pub has come to a standstill,
for the time being.
After some time,one of the local crowd weaves his
way over to the Canadians' table.
"G'day, mates!" he pipes up cheerily.
"This crowd of clowns at the next table want to know
where you're from."
"Saskatoon, Saskatchewan" the Canadians replied.
The Aussie made his way back to his own table. "So,
where are they from?" his friends demanded.
"I dunno," he replied. "They didn't speak English."
somwhere far away.
They decide on Austrailia, and a few days later
arrive at the destination airport.
They decide, just for devilment, that they're going to
the local pub still in their parkas.
They want to see the looks on the locals'faces when
they walk in.
Leaving the airport, they have their bemused taxi
driver take them to a pub.
There, they take a table, remove their sealskin mitts,
and pull back their hoods, and order a couple of
pints.
Conversation in the pub has come to a standstill,
for the time being.
After some time,one of the local crowd weaves his
way over to the Canadians' table.
"G'day, mates!" he pipes up cheerily.
"This crowd of clowns at the next table want to know
where you're from."
"Saskatoon, Saskatchewan" the Canadians replied.
The Aussie made his way back to his own table. "So,
where are they from?" his friends demanded.
"I dunno," he replied. "They didn't speak English."
••
Of course I talk to myself,
I need to have an intelligent conversation once in a
while.
I need to have an intelligent conversation once in a
while.
••••
