••
♥
Two cabbies, Harry and Dave met after a long time.
"Hey," pointed out Harry, "why did you paint one
side of your cab red and the other side blue?"
"Well," answered Dave, "when I get into an accident,
you should see how all the witnesses contradict each
other."
"Hey," pointed out Harry, "why did you paint one
side of your cab red and the other side blue?"
"Well," answered Dave, "when I get into an accident,
you should see how all the witnesses contradict each
other."
••
A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library
and said: "I have a complaint!"
"Yes, Ma'am?" said the librarian looking up at her.
"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"
Puzzled by her complaint the librarian asked:
"What was wrong with it?"
"It had way too many characters and there was no
plot whatsoever!" said the blonde...
The librarian nodded and said: "Ahhh... So you must
be the person who took our phone book."
and said: "I have a complaint!"
"Yes, Ma'am?" said the librarian looking up at her.
"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"
Puzzled by her complaint the librarian asked:
"What was wrong with it?"
"It had way too many characters and there was no
plot whatsoever!" said the blonde...
The librarian nodded and said: "Ahhh... So you must
be the person who took our phone book."
••
If Guns kill people, do pencils mispell words?
••
A preacher was on the program at a district
convention to preach for twenty minutes.
The other preachers from the district were sitting
behind him in the choir section, giving him moral
support and throwing in an occasional “Amen” to
help the preacher along.
The preacher preached his twenty minutes and
continued on despite the allotted time.
He preached for 30 minutes, then forty minutes and
then for an hour. He even continued, for a whole
hour and ten minutes.
Finally, a brother sitting in the front row took a
songbook and threw it at the preacher, who was still
going strong with his message.
The preacher saw the songbook as it was hurled his
way and he ducked.
The songbook hit one of the preachers sitting in the
choir section.
As the man in the choir section was going down,
you could hear him say, “Hit me again, I can still
hear him preaching!”
convention to preach for twenty minutes.
The other preachers from the district were sitting
behind him in the choir section, giving him moral
support and throwing in an occasional “Amen” to
help the preacher along.
The preacher preached his twenty minutes and
continued on despite the allotted time.
He preached for 30 minutes, then forty minutes and
then for an hour. He even continued, for a whole
hour and ten minutes.
Finally, a brother sitting in the front row took a
songbook and threw it at the preacher, who was still
going strong with his message.
The preacher saw the songbook as it was hurled his
way and he ducked.
The songbook hit one of the preachers sitting in the
choir section.
As the man in the choir section was going down,
you could hear him say, “Hit me again, I can still
hear him preaching!”
••
Do you know what a fart is?
A fart is simply a turd that is ringing a doorbell.
A fart is simply a turd that is ringing a doorbell.
••
A man was going door-to-door doing a sexual
survey in Jeff's neighborhood.
"How often a week do you sleep with your wife?"
asked the inquirer.
"Three times," Jeff said without hesitation.
"That is once more often than your neighbor,"
the inquirer said, writing.
"That makes sense," Jeff said, "after all, she's my wife."
survey in Jeff's neighborhood.
"How often a week do you sleep with your wife?"
asked the inquirer.
"Three times," Jeff said without hesitation.
"That is once more often than your neighbor,"
the inquirer said, writing.
"That makes sense," Jeff said, "after all, she's my wife."
••
A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and
asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"
The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a
little patient".
asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"
The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a
little patient".
••
Weeping Willows are a result of Chuck Norris
yelling at trees for not being tough enough.
yelling at trees for not being tough enough.
••
Two Irishmen looking through a mail order
catalogue.
Paddy says "Look at these gorgeous women!
The prices are reasonable too."
Mick agrees "I'm ordering one right now"
3 weeks later Paddy says to Mick "Has your woman
turned up yet?"
"No" said Mick "but it shouldn't be long now though.
Her clothes arrived yesterday!!
catalogue.
Paddy says "Look at these gorgeous women!
The prices are reasonable too."
Mick agrees "I'm ordering one right now"
3 weeks later Paddy says to Mick "Has your woman
turned up yet?"
"No" said Mick "but it shouldn't be long now though.
Her clothes arrived yesterday!!
••••
