Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

Son: 'Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this
morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
 Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

 

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"I am having problems with my email.
When I send an email, sometimes people don't
receive it.
If you don't receive this email, please call me and
let me know"

 

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Having one child makes you a parent;
having two you are a referee.

 

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Did you hear about the blond hitman that got fired
by the mofia he was told to blow up a truck but he
burned his lips on the muffler.....

 

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A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on
the aviation frequencies.
So, this was his first time approaching a field during
the nighttime.
Instead of making any official requests to the tower,
he said: "Guess who?"
The controller switched the field lights off and
replied: "Guess where?"

 

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A conference is a gathering of important people
who singly can do nothing, but together can decide
that nothing can be done.

 

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My wife had a really sharp pain in her chest this
morning, she thought she was having a heart attack.
 It turns out it was just a Dorito in her bra.

 

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Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking,
when the subject turned to getting older.
The first guy said “Women have all the luck when it
comes to getting older.”
 “What do you mean?” asked the second guy.
“Well,” replied the first.....
“I can barely remember the last time I got aroused
in bed, but my wife is healthier than ever!”
 “Healthier?...... How is that?” his buddy wondered.
“Years ago, when we were younger, almost every
night before bed she’d get these terrible headaches.”
He answered. “Now that we’re older, she hasn’t had
a headache in years.”

 

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