Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

“The painter was hospitalized due to too many
strokes.”

 

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I was lying on the doctors examination table today
when she asked "How is your libido?"
"My what?" I replied
 "Libido" she said "Do you feel like having sex?"
"Ok," I replied "But we'll need to be quick my wife
is waiting in the car"

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Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
~Mark Twain

 

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The Army has been experimenting for years to come
up with a liquid that will eat through anything and
they finally did it.
It eats through glass, stainless steel, iron,and all
kinds of metal, rock and granite.
Now if they could only find something to put it in.

 

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The price of gas is so high, Lindsay Lohan is now
forced to choose between drinking or driving.
She can't afford both.

 

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A fat girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time.
She said, 'sorry about the wait.'
I said, 'don't worry about it, you're bound to lose it
eventually.'

 

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Form question and answer about a recent accident:
Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid
the accident?
A: I could have traveled by bus.
~
A man collided with a cow and completed the
requested form as follows:
Q: What warning did you give the other party before
the collision?
A: Horn
~
Q: What warning was given by the other party?
A: Moo

 

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Met a girl in a bar last night and we ended up going
back to her house.
After a few more drinks, we started kissing and
having a bit of foreplay on the sofa.
She looked at me and said, "Let's take this upstairs."
 I said, "Okay, you grab one end and I'll grab the
other."

 

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