He wants some too !
Good to the last drop....
••
♥
Viagra.
"Got a prescription?" asks the pharmacist.
"Nah," says the guy "but here is a picture of my wife,
will that do...?"
"Got a prescription?" asks the pharmacist.
"Nah," says the guy "but here is a picture of my wife,
will that do...?"
••
I went back to see my doctor today.
I said, "I applied the cream to my butt that you gave
me.... This morning and I got a very nasty reaction."
"Where exactly did you apply it?" he asked.
I said, "On the bus."
I said, "I applied the cream to my butt that you gave
me.... This morning and I got a very nasty reaction."
"Where exactly did you apply it?" he asked.
I said, "On the bus."
••
A large owl flies down and swallows a mouse whole.
It then proceeds to fly to 2,000 ft.
The mouse works it's way to the owl's butt and
looks out.
The mouse says to the owl how high are we?
The owl replies about 2,000 feet so the mouse says
you wouldn't be shitting me would you.
It then proceeds to fly to 2,000 ft.
The mouse works it's way to the owl's butt and
looks out.
The mouse says to the owl how high are we?
The owl replies about 2,000 feet so the mouse says
you wouldn't be shitting me would you.
••
A man walked into a Wal-Mart and the Greeter said,
Automotive, aisle 15."
The man asked, "How did you know I was here to get
oil?"
The Greeter replied, "That's my job."
Another man walked in and the Greeter said,
"Sporting goods, aisle 28."
The man asked, "How did you know I wanted fishing
supplies?
The Greeter replied, "That's my job."
A woman walked in and the Greeter said, "Tampons,
aisle 5."
The woman said, "No, I'm here for hemorrhoid
medicine."
The Greeter said, "Darn, I missed it by an inch!"
Automotive, aisle 15."
The man asked, "How did you know I was here to get
oil?"
The Greeter replied, "That's my job."
Another man walked in and the Greeter said,
"Sporting goods, aisle 28."
The man asked, "How did you know I wanted fishing
supplies?
The Greeter replied, "That's my job."
A woman walked in and the Greeter said, "Tampons,
aisle 5."
The woman said, "No, I'm here for hemorrhoid
medicine."
The Greeter said, "Darn, I missed it by an inch!"
••
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so
hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back
in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was
flying over the Pacific Ocean.
hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back
in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was
flying over the Pacific Ocean.
••
A drunk walked up to a parking meter and puts in
some change.
The meter goes up to sixty and he says,
"Hey, I lost 100 pounds!"
some change.
The meter goes up to sixty and he says,
"Hey, I lost 100 pounds!"
••
Q: what is the blonde doing when she holds her
hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold onto a thought.
hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold onto a thought.
••
How do you describe an angry potato?
Boiling Mad.
Boiling Mad.
••
Teacher: Why do we sometimes call the Middle Ages
the Dark Ages?
Peter: Because they had so many knights.
the Dark Ages?
Peter: Because they had so many knights.
••
When the shoe store owner discovered that someone
had broken into his store, the police pumped him for
information.”
had broken into his store, the police pumped him for
information.”
••
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food
coloring.
The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a
little inside.
coloring.
The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a
little inside.
••••
