••
♥
Flex's wife goes out to buy a car.
The salesman says, I recommend this one.
She asks why.
The salesman says, Because it has hydraulic
backspin brakes.
Get in and Ill show you.
He drives the car 100 miles and hour toward a brick
wall, and when hes 100 feet away he jams on the
brakes.
They stop a foot from the wall.
The salesman says, Do you smell that?
She takes a sniff and says, Uh-huh.
The salesman says proudly, Thats hydraulic
backspin brakes.
That night when Flex gets home, his wife says,
Dear, I bought a car.
Flex asks, How did you decide which kind to buy?
She says, I bought one with hydraulic backspin
brakes....... Get in and Ill show you.
They get in, and she drives 100 miles an hour toward
the same brick wall.
When they are 100 feet away from it she jams on the
brakes, and they stop one foot from the wall.
She looks over at her husband and says.
Do you smell that?
Flex says, I ought to!.. Im sitting in it.
The salesman says, I recommend this one.
She asks why.
The salesman says, Because it has hydraulic
backspin brakes.
Get in and Ill show you.
He drives the car 100 miles and hour toward a brick
wall, and when hes 100 feet away he jams on the
brakes.
They stop a foot from the wall.
The salesman says, Do you smell that?
She takes a sniff and says, Uh-huh.
The salesman says proudly, Thats hydraulic
backspin brakes.
That night when Flex gets home, his wife says,
Dear, I bought a car.
Flex asks, How did you decide which kind to buy?
She says, I bought one with hydraulic backspin
brakes....... Get in and Ill show you.
They get in, and she drives 100 miles an hour toward
the same brick wall.
When they are 100 feet away from it she jams on the
brakes, and they stop one foot from the wall.
She looks over at her husband and says.
Do you smell that?
Flex says, I ought to!.. Im sitting in it.
••
I was walking to my car at Home Depot parking lot
the other day and there was this guy with a coat
hanger down in his window, I asked him did you
lock your keys in the car, he said no I just washed it
and now I'm going to hang it to dry.
the other day and there was this guy with a coat
hanger down in his window, I asked him did you
lock your keys in the car, he said no I just washed it
and now I'm going to hang it to dry.
••
Teacher asks the kids in class:
"What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Little Johnny: "I wanna be a billionaire, going to
the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me,
give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks,
an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris ,
a jet to travel through Europe ,
an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three
times a day".
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do
with the bad behaviour of the child,
decides not to give importance to what he said and
then continues the lesson.
And you, Susie?
"I wanna be Johnny's bitch!"
"What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Little Johnny: "I wanna be a billionaire, going to
the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me,
give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks,
an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris ,
a jet to travel through Europe ,
an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three
times a day".
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do
with the bad behaviour of the child,
decides not to give importance to what he said and
then continues the lesson.
And you, Susie?
"I wanna be Johnny's bitch!"
••
A psychiatrist's secretary walked into his study and
said, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room
asking to see you.
Claims he's invisible."
The psychiatrist responded, "Tell him I can't see him."
said, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room
asking to see you.
Claims he's invisible."
The psychiatrist responded, "Tell him I can't see him."
••
What's blonde with big eyes and intelligent?
A golden retriever.....
A golden retriever.....
••
universal laws of drinking:
1. Beer is food.
2. Wine accompanies food.
3. Cocktails demand food.
1. Beer is food.
2. Wine accompanies food.
3. Cocktails demand food.
••
I like to do crafts.
I work with glitter quite a bit.
Dont worry, I make tough stuff like daggers and
skulls.
The thing about glitter is, if you get it on you,
be prepared to have it on you forever cause glitter
is the herpes of craft supplies.
I work with glitter quite a bit.
Dont worry, I make tough stuff like daggers and
skulls.
The thing about glitter is, if you get it on you,
be prepared to have it on you forever cause glitter
is the herpes of craft supplies.
••
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to
the reach.....
the reach.....
••••
