You woke me up for this??
There, I fixed the shower.....
••
♥
Why are you covered in bruises?
I started to walk through a revolving door and I
changed my mind!
I started to walk through a revolving door and I
changed my mind!
••
When my wife gives me "the silent treatment,"
she thinks it's a punishment.
she thinks it's a punishment.
••
I woke up this morning at 8:oo, and could smell
something was wrong.
I got downstairs and found the wife face down on
the kitchen floor, not breathing!
I panicked........ I didn’t know what to do.
Then I remembered McDonald’s serves breakfast
until 10:30.
something was wrong.
I got downstairs and found the wife face down on
the kitchen floor, not breathing!
I panicked........ I didn’t know what to do.
Then I remembered McDonald’s serves breakfast
until 10:30.
••
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her
father always paused and bowed his head for a
moment before starting his sermon.
One day, she asked him why.
"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter
was so observant of his messages.
"I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good
sermon."
"How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.
father always paused and bowed his head for a
moment before starting his sermon.
One day, she asked him why.
"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter
was so observant of his messages.
"I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good
sermon."
"How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.
••
jeopardy question....
It lays on it's back - a hundred feet in the air.
who is a dead centipede.
It lays on it's back - a hundred feet in the air.
who is a dead centipede.
••
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new
bird dog.
His search ended when he found a dog that could
actually walk on water to retrieve a duck.
Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends
would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his,
a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with
him and his new dog.
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by.
They fired, and a duck fell.
The dog responded and jumped into the water.
The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked
across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting
more than his paws wet.
The friend saw everything but did not say a single
word.
On the drive home the hunter asked his friend,
"Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"
"I sure did," responded his friend."
He can't swim.
bird dog.
His search ended when he found a dog that could
actually walk on water to retrieve a duck.
Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends
would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his,
a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with
him and his new dog.
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by.
They fired, and a duck fell.
The dog responded and jumped into the water.
The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked
across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting
more than his paws wet.
The friend saw everything but did not say a single
word.
On the drive home the hunter asked his friend,
"Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"
"I sure did," responded his friend."
He can't swim.
••
What did the Asian janitor say when he jumped out
of the closet?
SUPPLIES!
of the closet?
SUPPLIES!
••
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday
dinner at his Grandmother's house.
Everyone was seated around the table as the food
was being served.
When Little Johnny received his plate, he started
eating right away.
"Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer."
said his mother.
"I don't need to," the boy replied.
"Of course, you do "his mother insisted.
"We always say a prayer before eating at our house."
"That's at our house....." Johnny explained.
"But this is Grandma's house and she knows how
to cook.
dinner at his Grandmother's house.
Everyone was seated around the table as the food
was being served.
When Little Johnny received his plate, he started
eating right away.
"Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer."
said his mother.
"I don't need to," the boy replied.
"Of course, you do "his mother insisted.
"We always say a prayer before eating at our house."
"That's at our house....." Johnny explained.
"But this is Grandma's house and she knows how
to cook.
••••
