••
You think it's funny to have a frog on my head??
He can't believe his eyes..... A frog??
••
♥
An elderly fisherman wrote to a mail order house
the following: "Please send me one of those gasoline
engines for my boat you show on page 438, and if it's
any good, I'll send you a check."
In a short time he received the following reply:
"Please send check.
If it's any good, we'll send the engine."
the following: "Please send me one of those gasoline
engines for my boat you show on page 438, and if it's
any good, I'll send you a check."
In a short time he received the following reply:
"Please send check.
If it's any good, we'll send the engine."
••
My friend is against same-sex marriage -
he and his missus have had the same sex every year
for 30 years..!!!
he and his missus have had the same sex every year
for 30 years..!!!
••
A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white
coated doctors searching through the flower beds.
"Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"
"No," replied one of the doctors.
"We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax
inspector and want to find a suitable stone."
coated doctors searching through the flower beds.
"Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"
"No," replied one of the doctors.
"We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax
inspector and want to find a suitable stone."
••
Flex was called into the bosses office today.
He said, "I still think you're not too bright at all,
Flex.
But you have come early to work for the past 2 years.
You deserve a reward."
"Gee, thanks boss!" Flex said.
"What's my reward then?"
"How does a brand new car sound?" he asked,
smiling.
Flex said, "Vrooom, vrooooom."
He said, "I still think you're not too bright at all,
Flex.
But you have come early to work for the past 2 years.
You deserve a reward."
"Gee, thanks boss!" Flex said.
"What's my reward then?"
"How does a brand new car sound?" he asked,
smiling.
Flex said, "Vrooom, vrooooom."
••
From now on I'm only going to buy that fancy water
with healthy additives.
Like this one here.
It's got hops, yeast and malted barley in it.
with healthy additives.
Like this one here.
It's got hops, yeast and malted barley in it.
••
STOP celebrating your birthday.
All your doing is taking credit for someone elses
hard work.
Your mother did all the work that's why they called
it labor.
If you must celebrate the day call it what it truly is.....
The anniversary of your very first eviction.
All your doing is taking credit for someone elses
hard work.
Your mother did all the work that's why they called
it labor.
If you must celebrate the day call it what it truly is.....
The anniversary of your very first eviction.
••
What do you call a mexican baptism?
A bean dip....
A bean dip....
••
A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue
Netherlands flag to an American.
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes.
We get red when we talk about them, white when we
get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."
The American nodded.
"It's the same in the USA only we see stars, too!"
Netherlands flag to an American.
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes.
We get red when we talk about them, white when we
get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."
The American nodded.
"It's the same in the USA only we see stars, too!"
••
Confucius say; He who cut fart in church,
set in own pew.
set in own pew.
••
At a business conference in Montpelier, Vermont,
the state tax commissioner asked the audience
which sort of taxation they found fairest.
There was a pause, and then a white-haired man in
the back raised his hand.
"The poll tax," he said.
"But the poll tax was repealed," replied the
commissioner.
"Ay-ah," declared the man, "that's what I like about it."
the state tax commissioner asked the audience
which sort of taxation they found fairest.
There was a pause, and then a white-haired man in
the back raised his hand.
"The poll tax," he said.
"But the poll tax was repealed," replied the
commissioner.
"Ay-ah," declared the man, "that's what I like about it."
••
I was hit hard when I found out about the death of
my mother-in-law.
My wife slapped me for giggling.
my mother-in-law.
My wife slapped me for giggling.
••••
