••
♥
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept
the doctor away.
But since all the doctors are now Muslims,
I've found that a bacon sandwich works better !
the doctor away.
But since all the doctors are now Muslims,
I've found that a bacon sandwich works better !
••
Micheal J Fox and Muhammad Ali met for the first
time yesterday.
They're still shaking hands.
Micheal J Fox and Muhammad Ali met for the first
time yesterday.
They're still shaking hands.
••
Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo
with blood pouring from them..
"B*ll*ks to that" said Paddy
"That's the last time I go lion dancing"
with blood pouring from them..
"B*ll*ks to that" said Paddy
"That's the last time I go lion dancing"
••
O'Toole volunteered to take care of his numerous
children so that Mom could have an evening out.
At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed
and settled down to read.
One child kept creeping down the stairs, but O'Toole
kept sending him back up.
At 10 o'clock the doorbell rang.
It was the next door neighbor, Mrs. O'Brien.
She asked if her son was there and O'Toole said no.
Just then a little head appeared over the banister
and a voice shouted.
"I'm here Mom, but he won't let me go home."
children so that Mom could have an evening out.
At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed
and settled down to read.
One child kept creeping down the stairs, but O'Toole
kept sending him back up.
At 10 o'clock the doorbell rang.
It was the next door neighbor, Mrs. O'Brien.
She asked if her son was there and O'Toole said no.
Just then a little head appeared over the banister
and a voice shouted.
"I'm here Mom, but he won't let me go home."
••
"And how much of that stack of hay did you steal,
Kavanaugh?" the priest asked at confession.
"I might as well confess to the whole stack, your
Reverence," said Kavanaugh.
"I'm goin' after the rest of it tonight!"
Kavanaugh?" the priest asked at confession.
"I might as well confess to the whole stack, your
Reverence," said Kavanaugh.
"I'm goin' after the rest of it tonight!"
••
My wife eats like a bird whenever I take her out for
a meal..
Shame it's a Pelican.
a meal..
Shame it's a Pelican.
••
Little Sonia was shouting her prayers.
"Please God send me a new doll for my birthday."
Her mother, overhearing this, said, "Don't shout dear,
God isn't deaf."
"No, but Grandad is, and he's in the next room,"
Sonia replied..
"Please God send me a new doll for my birthday."
Her mother, overhearing this, said, "Don't shout dear,
God isn't deaf."
"No, but Grandad is, and he's in the next room,"
Sonia replied..
••
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
••
Olga, the Danish chambermaid at the Catskill
mountain hotel, was constantly being chased by
Hirshberg, one of the guests.
Every time he got near her, she ran away from him.
One day he grabbed the pretty Dane and whispered
his sexual request in her ear.
To his amazement, she agreed to meet him in his
room that night.
"If you're willing," said the man, "why did you keep
running away from me?"
"Well," said the Danish girl, "all time I tink you vant
extra towel!
mountain hotel, was constantly being chased by
Hirshberg, one of the guests.
Every time he got near her, she ran away from him.
One day he grabbed the pretty Dane and whispered
his sexual request in her ear.
To his amazement, she agreed to meet him in his
room that night.
"If you're willing," said the man, "why did you keep
running away from me?"
"Well," said the Danish girl, "all time I tink you vant
extra towel!
••••
