Post # 1890

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Looks different after haircut.....

They don't like the haircut...

 

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♥

I can't believe our 4 year old son is already looking
at porn online!
I said to my wife when she checked the internet
history.

 

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I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to
make me paranoid.

 

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A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.
When they were asked what their secret was to a
long lasting marriage they said:
"We take the time to go out to a restaurant two times
a week.
A candlelight dinner, soft music and a slow walk
home.
She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays."

 

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When I went to college, my parents threw a going
away party for me, according to the letter.

 

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Next time you go clothes shopping, hold up a shirt
and ask the sales person:
Do you have this in an extra medium?
 priceless.......

 

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(Under a sign that said: "Employees Must Wash
Hands")
I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.

 

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A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a
Friday this year."
The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

 

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A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts:
"Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do....
it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."

 

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I hate when you offer someone a sincere complement
on their mustache...and then she won't talk to you
anymore.
Just trying to be a good friend..

 

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Iris is a long distance truck driver.
She decided to get a dog for protection for the long
days and nights that she was away from home.
As she studied a likely candidate, the breeder told
her, 'I must warn you that he doesn't like men.'
 'Perfect', Iris thought and promptly bought the dog.
Some time later as she was leaving a transport café,
two men approached her, in the car park, and Iris
watched to see how her new 'bodyguard' would react.
It soon became clear that the breeder hadn't been
joking, because as the men got closer,
the dog ran under the nearest car and hid.

 

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