Watch Out!, you will get trampled ....
••
♥
Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at the
Paris airport.
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days."
Paris airport.
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days."
••
The first human who hurled an insult instead of a
stone was the founder of civilization.
stone was the founder of civilization.
-Sigmund Freud.
••
A lady's picking through the frozen turkeys and says
to a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
He says, "No, ma'am, they're dead."
to a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
He says, "No, ma'am, they're dead."
••
I took a course in speed waiting.
Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
••
After accepting an invitation to dance with a rather
prematurely balding man a young woman wants to
lighten the mood and says, "Honey, God was good to
you, gave you a handsome face and room for
another one."
prematurely balding man a young woman wants to
lighten the mood and says, "Honey, God was good to
you, gave you a handsome face and room for
another one."
••
My son has been bugging me for weeks to help him
build a tree house in the garden, so I have just been
out to cut up some wood.
Maybe he'll shut up now the tree has gone.
build a tree house in the garden, so I have just been
out to cut up some wood.
Maybe he'll shut up now the tree has gone.
••
One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door
dressed as "Rocky" in boxing gloves and satin shorts.
Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for
more.
"Aren't you the same 'Rocky' who left my doorstep
several minutes ago?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied, "but now I'm the sequel.
I'll be back three more times tonight too."
dressed as "Rocky" in boxing gloves and satin shorts.
Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for
more.
"Aren't you the same 'Rocky' who left my doorstep
several minutes ago?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied, "but now I'm the sequel.
I'll be back three more times tonight too."
••
Smoking cures weight problems... Eventually...
••
I recently attended our church women's annual
general meeting and tea.
Members were asked to bring the usual sandwiches
and squares, and to drop them off at the kitchen to
be sliced by volunteers.
Peeling back the tinfoil on a large cake pan,
I was surprised to see that one entire row of
brownies was missing.
In its place was a note: "Husband's portion removed."
general meeting and tea.
Members were asked to bring the usual sandwiches
and squares, and to drop them off at the kitchen to
be sliced by volunteers.
Peeling back the tinfoil on a large cake pan,
I was surprised to see that one entire row of
brownies was missing.
In its place was a note: "Husband's portion removed."
••
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
••••
