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Useless knowledge....
A species of sponge called the red sponge can be
pushed through a piece of fabric so that it is broken
into thousands of tiny pieces.
But the animal does not die.
Rather, all the pieces reassemble until the sponge
returns to its original form.
Now, if only humans could do that when they go
to pieces....
A species of sponge called the red sponge can be
pushed through a piece of fabric so that it is broken
into thousands of tiny pieces.
But the animal does not die.
Rather, all the pieces reassemble until the sponge
returns to its original form.
Now, if only humans could do that when they go
to pieces....
••
Sign in a Police Station: It takes about 3500 bolts to
put a car together; but only one nut to scatter it all
over the road.
put a car together; but only one nut to scatter it all
over the road.
••
Q: Is it good manners to eat fried chicken with your
fingers?
A: No, you should eat your fingers separately..
fingers?
A: No, you should eat your fingers separately..
••
Real Church Signs....
Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.
If you're headed in the wrong direction,
God allows U-turns.
If you don't like the way you were born,
try being born again.
Looking at the way some people live,
they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.
Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.
If you're headed in the wrong direction,
God allows U-turns.
If you don't like the way you were born,
try being born again.
Looking at the way some people live,
they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.
••
“I knew a woman who owned a taser, man was
she stunning!”
she stunning!”
••
Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree
through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off
all ten of his fingers.
He goes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers,
and I'll see what I can do."
Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers."
The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't
got the fingers?
It's 1998.
We've got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible
techniques.
I could have put them back on and made you like
new.
Why didn't you bring the fingers?"
Jon says, "Well, heck, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up."
through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off
all ten of his fingers.
He goes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers,
and I'll see what I can do."
Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers."
The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't
got the fingers?
It's 1998.
We've got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible
techniques.
I could have put them back on and made you like
new.
Why didn't you bring the fingers?"
Jon says, "Well, heck, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up."
••
Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea?
A: Because if they lived near the bay,
they would be called bagels.
A: Because if they lived near the bay,
they would be called bagels.
••
When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and
hurt my ankle.
A little old lady had to help me across the street.
hurt my ankle.
A little old lady had to help me across the street.
••
There was this nun named Sister Mary who, though
she tried and tried, could never please the Mother
Superior.
she tried and tried, could never please the Mother
Superior.
One day she comes up with an idea: since the abbey
was always cold, she decided to cut some wood and
build a fire in the fireplace to heat the place up.
She spent all day chopping, hauling and stacking
wood.
Subsequently, she wound up shredding the sleeves
of her habit.
Later that night, as the other nuns came into the
rectory, they were delighted to find the place warm
and cozy, with a big fire roaring in the fireplace.
Then Mother Superior comes in and yells,
"Sister Mary! Go fix your torn habit this instant!"
Sister Mary, crying, asks, "But Mother Superior,
aren't you happy that the abbey is warm?"
To which the Mother Superior replies, "Yes,
but when you ax, then ye shall re-sleeve."
was always cold, she decided to cut some wood and
build a fire in the fireplace to heat the place up.
She spent all day chopping, hauling and stacking
wood.
Subsequently, she wound up shredding the sleeves
of her habit.
Later that night, as the other nuns came into the
rectory, they were delighted to find the place warm
and cozy, with a big fire roaring in the fireplace.
Then Mother Superior comes in and yells,
"Sister Mary! Go fix your torn habit this instant!"
Sister Mary, crying, asks, "But Mother Superior,
aren't you happy that the abbey is warm?"
To which the Mother Superior replies, "Yes,
but when you ax, then ye shall re-sleeve."
••
Q: Diner: Do you serve chicken here?
A: Waiter: Sit down, sir.
We serve anyone.
A: Waiter: Sit down, sir.
We serve anyone.
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