••
♥
Three men were sentenced to be executed by
guillotine; a priest, a Muslim, and an engineer.
First was the priest and he asked that he face
upwards so he could look at Heaven and his Creator.
his wish was granted and the blade fell, but stopped
1/2 inch from his neck.
the executioner said since the guillotine spared him,
so was his life and he was allowed to leave.
Next was the Muslim and he asked that he also be
allowed to face upwards to look to Allah before his
death.
Again the guillotine stopped just short and his life
was spared as well.
The engineer was last and he too asked to face
upwards given what happened with the first two.
As he lay there, he looked up at the mechanism and
said, "Aha, i see the problem!".
guillotine; a priest, a Muslim, and an engineer.
First was the priest and he asked that he face
upwards so he could look at Heaven and his Creator.
his wish was granted and the blade fell, but stopped
1/2 inch from his neck.
the executioner said since the guillotine spared him,
so was his life and he was allowed to leave.
Next was the Muslim and he asked that he also be
allowed to face upwards to look to Allah before his
death.
Again the guillotine stopped just short and his life
was spared as well.
The engineer was last and he too asked to face
upwards given what happened with the first two.
As he lay there, he looked up at the mechanism and
said, "Aha, i see the problem!".
••
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth
has a chance to get its pants on. ~Winston Churchill
has a chance to get its pants on. ~Winston Churchill
••
I was eating Chinese today and started thinking...
Of all the utensils that were invented to eat rice with...
How the hell did two sticks win?
Of all the utensils that were invented to eat rice with...
How the hell did two sticks win?
••
When a man marries a woman, they become one;
but the trouble starts when they try to decide which
one.
but the trouble starts when they try to decide which
one.
••
Two old guys talking.
One said to the other: "My 85th birthday
One said to the other: "My 85th birthday
yesterday. Wife gave me an SUV".
Other guy: "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine, an SUV!
What a great gift!"
First guy: "Yup. Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"
What a great gift!"
First guy: "Yup. Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"
••
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm
a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.
She was about to turn off the light when he asked
with a tremor in his voice, ''Mommy, will you sleep
with me tonight?''
His mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
''I can't dear,'' she said.
''I have to sleep in daddy's room.''
A long silence was broken at last by his little voice.
''The big sissy.''
a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.
She was about to turn off the light when he asked
with a tremor in his voice, ''Mommy, will you sleep
with me tonight?''
His mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
''I can't dear,'' she said.
''I have to sleep in daddy's room.''
A long silence was broken at last by his little voice.
''The big sissy.''
••
My motto:
pay the undertaker with a bad check.
pay the undertaker with a bad check.
••
Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
So he could hide in cherry trees.
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
No?
Works pretty good does'nt it?
So he could hide in cherry trees.
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
No?
Works pretty good does'nt it?
••••
Homeless Robot....
