••
♥
President Herbert Hoover was the first President to
give his salary back to the government.
Now the government would like everyone to do it.
give his salary back to the government.
Now the government would like everyone to do it.
••
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong,
the one that will cause the most damage will be the
one to go wrong..
the one that will cause the most damage will be the
one to go wrong..
••
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a
middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter
methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink
envelopes with hearts all over them.
He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts
spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to
the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says, "I'm sending out
one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter
methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink
envelopes with hearts all over them.
He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts
spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to
the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says, "I'm sending out
one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
••
Whoever gossips to you; will also gossip about you.
Whoever gossips to you; will also gossip about you.
••
A foursome of ladies came back after a round of golf.
At the 19th hole in the Clubhouse, the Pro,
Ross, politely asked them, 'How did your game go?'
The first said she had a good round with 25 riders.
The second said she did OK with 16 riders.
The third said not too bad since I had 10 riders.
The fourth was disappointed and said that she
played badly with only two riders.
Ross was confounded by this term "rider" but not
wanting to show his ignorance just smiled and wish
them better golf the next time.
He then approached Jimmy, the bartender, and
asked, 'Hey, Jimmy, can you tell me what does this
term "riders" mean?'
Jimmy smiled as he explained to Ross that a "rider"
is when you hit a shot long enough to take a ride on
a golf cart.
The first said she had a good round with 25 riders.
The second said she did OK with 16 riders.
The third said not too bad since I had 10 riders.
The fourth was disappointed and said that she
played badly with only two riders.
Ross was confounded by this term "rider" but not
wanting to show his ignorance just smiled and wish
them better golf the next time.
He then approached Jimmy, the bartender, and
asked, 'Hey, Jimmy, can you tell me what does this
term "riders" mean?'
Jimmy smiled as he explained to Ross that a "rider"
is when you hit a shot long enough to take a ride on
a golf cart.
••
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.
My next bowel movement could spell disaster..
My next bowel movement could spell disaster..
••
I was told that white wine sauce is perfect for fish.
That's bullshit, My Goldfish can hardly swim.
I was told that white wine sauce is perfect for fish.
That's bullshit, My Goldfish can hardly swim.
••
Maria and Stephanie were selected to play together
as partners in the Cams Hall Club tournament and
met on the putting green for the first time.
After introductions, Maria asked, 'What's your
handicap?'
'Oh, I'm a scratch golfer,' Stephanie replied.
'Really!' exclaimed Maria, suitably impressed that
she had been paired with Stephanie.
'Yes, I write down all my good scores and scratch
out the bad ones,' responded Stephanie with a smile.
as partners in the Cams Hall Club tournament and
met on the putting green for the first time.
After introductions, Maria asked, 'What's your
handicap?'
'Oh, I'm a scratch golfer,' Stephanie replied.
'Really!' exclaimed Maria, suitably impressed that
she had been paired with Stephanie.
'Yes, I write down all my good scores and scratch
out the bad ones,' responded Stephanie with a smile.
••
You hear about the race between two silk worms??
It resulted in a tie.
You hear about the race between two silk worms??
It resulted in a tie.
••••
