Down Hummingbird Lane

 

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♥

What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day?
A FRISBEE!

 

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Everybody likes to blame America for everything.
What are we, only 233 years old?
These other countries are thousands of years old.
Not only did they not get it right, but a lot of times
they screw up and ask us for help.
Thats like a 90-year-old man asking a two-year-old
for advice.

 

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Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that
roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick
someone.
This has been recorded by historians as the worst
mistake anyone has ever made..

 

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Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy..

 

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When You Lost a Fight to Your Woman One time,
she got me so mad, we got into a fist fight.
You know how you know when you lost a fight to
your woman?
When the cops come to your house and ask you do
you want to press charges.
Thats how you know it didnt go as you planned.....

 

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7 wheelchair athletes have been banned from the
Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40...

 

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A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation.
There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking.
The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the
Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at
least twice as large".
Then they walk around the ranch a little and the
Aussie shows off his herd of cattle.
The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns
that are at least twice as large as your cows".
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when
the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through
the field.
He asks, "And what are those"?
The Aussie asks with an incredulous look,
"Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?

 

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