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So making guns illegal will get them off the streets?
We should make meth and cocaine illegal also.
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The real reason that we can't have the Ten
Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:
you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal'
'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and
'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers,
judges and politicians, it creates a hostile work
environment.
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At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a
drunk guy asking what time the bar opens.
"It opens at noon," answers the clerk.
About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy,
sounding even drunker.
"What time does the bar open?" he asks.
"Same time as before... Noon." replies the clerk.
Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered
"When joo shay the bar opins at?"
The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you
can't wait, I can have room service send something
up to you."
"No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"
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A couple comes up to a wishing well.
The lady leans over, makes a wish, and throws in
a penny.
Her husband decides to make a wish, too, but
he leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns.
The lady says, “Wow, it really works.”
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What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has the paws before the claws and the other
has the clause before the pause.
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The other night I ate at a real family restaurant.
Every table had an argument going.
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I Went out last night and got really wasted.
I woke up in the middle of the night next to some
chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I
made it home OK!
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A college student picked up his date at her parents
home.
He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her
to a fancy restaurant.
To his dismay, she ordered almost everything
expensive on the menu.
Appetizers, lobster, champagne. . .the works.
Finally he asked her,
"Does your Mother feed you like this at home?"
"No," she said, "but my Mother's not looking to get
laid, either."
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