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The Earth is fast, we are whizzing around at
66,700 miles per hour.
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Two nuts are sitting next to each other at the asylum.
One turns to the other and says, "Why are we all here?"
Other nut shrugs his shoulders and replies,
"Cuz we're not all there."
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What did the grape say after the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little whine!
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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut,
and still think they are sexy.
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A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal
immigrants come to this country so that they can
see their own doctor.
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The Chinese ideogram for 'trouble' depicts two
women living under one roof'.
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Farmer John was taking his cow and it's new born
calf to sell in the auction.
On the way farmer John got robbed by thieves,
who beat him up, stripped him of his clothes and
tied him to a tree.
Then taking the mother cow and John's clothes,
the thieves escaped.
They, however left the new born calf behind.
Poor farmer John suffered as for two days, he stood
tied to a tree, stark naked and hungry.
Fortunately, on the third day, some neighbors
happened to pass by.
They recognized John and untied him.
When they did, farmer John picked up a huge stick
and started bashing the calf with it.
"Why are you thrashing the poor calf?, his neighbors
asked?
To which farmer John replied, "I had to tell this
beast for the past two days repeatedly that I am not
your mother!, I am not your mother ........!
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"Everything’s starting to click for me!" said my
father-in-law at dinner.
"My knees, my elbows, my neck … "
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