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I love alcohol, man.
Some people call alcohol a drug, too.
Some people say that, Alcohols a drug.
Not me, I call it a vitamin.
Cause whatever your deficiency is, alcohol will treat it.
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Armstrong was kicked out of Sturges because only
real bikers are allowed there.....
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Three animals in a bar were having a huge argument
over who was the best.
The first animal, a hawk, claimed that because of his
ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly
from above, and his prey had hardly a chance.
The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength.
No one in the jungle dared to challenge him,
King of the Jungle.
The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight
nor strength to frighten off any creature with his
unique arsenal.
As the three debated the issue, a grizzly bear came
along and swallowed them all;
hawk, lion and stinker!
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"One useless man is a shame, two is a law firm,
and three or more is a congress" -- John Adams
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"The IRS says it's been getting death threats since
the health care bill passed because the IRS is going
to be the ones in charge of implementing it.
They say the threats people are making to the IRS
are so bad, that they are actually hindering the IRS's
ability to threaten people."
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One reason men and women are different...
Say ballroom to a woman she thinks dancing.
Say ballroom to a man he thinks boxer shorts.
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On their wedding night, a young couple finally
retired to their hotel room.
After making her preparations, the bride left the
bathroom to find the bridegroom on his knees in
front of the bed.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm praying for guidance," answered the
young man.
"I'll take care of that," she replied.
"You better pray for endurance!
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A poor man walking in the forest feels close enough
to God to ask, "God, what is a million years to you?"
God replies, "My son, a million years to you is like a
second to me."
The man asks, "God, what is a million dollars to you?
"God replies, "My son, a million dollars to you is less
than a penny to me.
It means almost nothing to me."
The man asks, "So God, can I have a million dollars?"
And God replies, "In a second."
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