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♥
I don't even have a clue as to where to find a
pregnancy test.
I'm looking at all the aisles -- they don't have one
that says oops.
••
As a pre-med student at Washington University in
St. Louis, I had to take a difficult class in physics.
One day our professor was discussing a particularly
complicated concept.
A student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we
have to learn this stuff?"
"To save lives."
The professor responded quickly and continued the
lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again.
"So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It usually keeps the idiots like you out of medical
school," replied the professor
••
Regular naps prevent old age.....
especially if you take them whilst driving.
After the revival had concluded, the three pastors
were discussing the results with one another.
The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great
for us!
We gained 4 new families."
The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that!
We gained 6 new families."
The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even
better than that!
We got rid of our 10 biggest trouble makers!"
••
A guy leaves the bar, hoping he can get home early
enough not to upset his wife for drinking after work.
He gets home and finds his boss in bed with his wife.
Later, back at the bar, the guy tells the bartender
the story,
"Wow, that's awful, what did you do?"
"Well, I carefully snuck back out the door, and
hitailed it back here!
Shoot, they we're just getting started, so I figure,
I got time for a couple more beers."
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Bob was so drunk last night at the bar,
That as he walked across the dance floor to get
another drink...
He won the dance competition...
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When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel
bites your cheek, that's a moray!
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