Down Hummingbird Lane

☺☺

••

♥

 

I broke up with my girlfriend last night using the
classic line "It's not you, it's me."
 "You're just saying that to make me feel better"
she sobbed.
 "No, it is me" I replied, "My wife's found out."

 

••

Did you know Arnold Schwarzenegger is related to
Johann Sebastian Bach?
His grandfather on his mother's side was Albie Bach!

 

••

A teacher had just discussed magnets with her class.
At the close of the lesson, she said, "My name begins
with `m,' have six letters, and I pick up things.
What am I?"
Julia thought for a moment, then answered,
"Mother!"

 

••

What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A whine cellar.

 

••

I remember my first week in the "Preliminary
Nursing Course" as it used to be called in the days
of hospital training way back when.
We were to go to the wards to do the sponge baths.
The educator for our group took us outside and said,
"Now all you nurses who have never seen a naked
man stand on my right side, those who have seen a
naked man stand on my left."
Twelve young seventeen-year-olds paled as we looked
into each other's eyes.
What to admit to?

 

••

"Billy, did you take my car out last night?"
"I went for a spin with a couple of the guys."
"Well, tell them I found two of their lipsticks!"

 

••