••
♥
They say marriages are made in Heaven.
But so is thunder and lightning...
••
A man who is having gas problems explains to his
doctor that every time he farts it sounds like honda.
The doctor does an examination and finds nothing
wrong with the man.
As a last resort he looks into the patient's mouth and
finally spots the problem.
"I'm sorry, you'll have to go to a dentist for your
problem."
So the man goes to see his dentist.
After a quick exam, the dentist announces that the
man has an abscess.
"No problem, I'll have you fit and without your
embarrassing problem in a jiffy," says the dentist.
Sure enough, the man's problem disappears and he
no longer makes
farts that sound like a honda.
The next week the man calls up the dentist and
thanks him for all he's done for him.
But before he hangs up he asks the dentist how he
knew the problem was caused by an abscess.
The dentist replies, "It's easy. Everyone knows that
an abscess makes the fart go honda.
doctor that every time he farts it sounds like honda.
The doctor does an examination and finds nothing
wrong with the man.
As a last resort he looks into the patient's mouth and
finally spots the problem.
"I'm sorry, you'll have to go to a dentist for your
problem."
So the man goes to see his dentist.
After a quick exam, the dentist announces that the
man has an abscess.
"No problem, I'll have you fit and without your
embarrassing problem in a jiffy," says the dentist.
Sure enough, the man's problem disappears and he
no longer makes
farts that sound like a honda.
The next week the man calls up the dentist and
thanks him for all he's done for him.
But before he hangs up he asks the dentist how he
knew the problem was caused by an abscess.
The dentist replies, "It's easy. Everyone knows that
an abscess makes the fart go honda.
••
Phobia: hadephobia Fear of: hell....
••
I got fired today.
I have been an accountant for the same company
since 2001........ What a waste of 14 years.
I got fired today.
I have been an accountant for the same company
since 2001........ What a waste of 14 years.
••
Things Mom Would Never Say......
1."How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far
back?"
2."Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"
3."Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house
look more cheery"
4."Let me smell that shirt --
Yeah, it's good for another week"
5."Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey.
I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day"
6."Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good
enough for me."
7."The curfew is just a general time to shoot for.
It's not like I'm running a prison around here."
8."I don't have a tissue with me ...
just use your sleeve"
9."Don't bother wearing a jacket -
the wind-chill is bound to improve"
1."How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far
back?"
2."Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"
3."Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house
look more cheery"
4."Let me smell that shirt --
Yeah, it's good for another week"
5."Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey.
I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day"
6."Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good
enough for me."
7."The curfew is just a general time to shoot for.
It's not like I'm running a prison around here."
8."I don't have a tissue with me ...
just use your sleeve"
9."Don't bother wearing a jacket -
the wind-chill is bound to improve"
••
"You can be whatever you want on the internet,
why do so many people choose to be stupid?"
why do so many people choose to be stupid?"
••••
