Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time
girlfriend.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was
assembling some loads for an upcoming hunt.
 His wife was standing there at the bench watching
him.
After a long period of silence she finally speaks ...
"Honey, I've been thinking ... now that we are
married, I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting,
hand loading, and fishing.
Maybe you should sell your guns and boat."
 Tim gets this horrified look on his face!
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
Tim replies, "There for a minute you were sounding
like my ex-wife."
"Ex-wife?!!", she screams, "I didn't know you were
married before!!!"
Tim continues loading & responds, "I wasn't."

 

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My boss is coming to my grandad's funeral..
He said, after his three previous funerals he wants
to see him go in the ground this time.

 

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Paddy says "Mick , I'm thinking of buying a
Labrador ."
Bugger that" says Mick "have you seen how many of
their owners go blind?"

 

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I rang my boss this morning, "I cant come into work
today due to a bug."
"Okay" He replied, "Whats wrong?
Got the flu? Bad stomach or something?"
"No," I answered, "Theres this biggest  bee by
the front door and I cant get out."

 

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Sitting on the couch together, my wife said to me,
"Honey, my hands are so cold".
 I said, "Great! Here, hold my beer!"

 

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What to engrave on the inside of the wedding ring
for my husband- to-be?
I said to my sister, "I want something that has
meaning and will remind him of me."
Her suggestion? "Put it back on."

 

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At the restaurant, a sign read "Karaoke Tonight!"
Grandma studied it before asking, "What kind of
fish is that?"

 

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