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♥
At the Buffet...
As I was treating my daughter and her family to the
buffet at a casino, all the bells and whistles for a
winning slot machine began to go off.
My seven-year-old grandson was awed.
“Wow!” he yelled.
“This is like Chuck E. Cheese for old people.”
••
The teacher said, "Now class, we know their are 60
seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour,
24 hours in a day, and 365 days in a year, so who
can tell me how many seconds there are in a year?"
All the kids looked baffled by the question except
Little Pauly, who raised his hand and waved it
excitedly.
"Yes, Pauly, how many seconds are there in a year?"
the teacher asked.
Little Pauly: "Twelve, m'am.
January second,
February second, March second..."
••
I went to view a house on a Native American
reservation:
"I like it" I said, "does it come with running water?"
He said, "Hell no, get your own wife."
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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,
"Grandpa, do you know
how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No,
how are we alike?''
"You're both old," he replied.
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I'm reaching out on behalf of a friend of mine who
needs some help!
His wife told him to go out and get some of those
pills that would help him get an erection.
When he came back, he handed her some diet pills.
Anyway, he's looking for a place to live.
Can you help him?
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A small boy stunned his parents after Sunday School
when he began to empty his pockets of nickels,
dimes and quarters.
Finally his mother asked the obvious question,
"Where did you get all that money?"
"At church," the boy replied nonchalantly.
"They have bowls of it.
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People who snore always fall asleep first.
--Author Unknown--
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An elderly shopper at our supermarket used a check
to buy such items as cotton balls, cotton swabs,
powder, and cold cream.
On the memo line, she’d written, "Repairs."
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