☺☺
♥
While visiting a retirement community, my wife and
I decided to do some shopping and soon became
separated.
"Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk.
"I’m looking for my wife.
She has white hair and is wearing white shoes."
Gesturing around the store, the clerk responded,
"Take your pick."
I decided to do some shopping and soon became
separated.
"Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk.
"I’m looking for my wife.
She has white hair and is wearing white shoes."
Gesturing around the store, the clerk responded,
"Take your pick."
☺☺
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender,
‘Do you serve women in this bar?’
‘No,’ replies the barman, ‘you have to bring your own.’
‘Do you serve women in this bar?’
‘No,’ replies the barman, ‘you have to bring your own.’
☺☺
I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus
on purpose.
Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it
(moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)..
And says, "Here, you can go."
on purpose.
Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it
(moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)..
And says, "Here, you can go."
☺☺
Tired of having your house burglarized?
Just put a sign on your front and back doors saying
'Employment Agency'.
That should keep them crooks away.
Just put a sign on your front and back doors saying
'Employment Agency'.
That should keep them crooks away.
☺☺
My wife turned to me during her mother’s funeral
and hissed "when we get home later, I'm going to
make you pay for this".
For the life of me I couldn't think of what I had done
wrong.
Maybe it's because I wasn't sharing my popcorn.
and hissed "when we get home later, I'm going to
make you pay for this".
For the life of me I couldn't think of what I had done
wrong.
Maybe it's because I wasn't sharing my popcorn.
☺☺
The fire dept has told us to stop letting the monkeys
cook their own food at the zoo.
After three chimp pan fires in one week.
cook their own food at the zoo.
After three chimp pan fires in one week.
☺☺
I repeatedly hear that pornography is difficult,
if not impossible, to define.
Nonsense, it defines itself.
Nothing could be easier.
No need to wonder about the difference between
"hard core" and "soft core" pornography.
The simple difference is, "Soft core" pornography is
that which gives one a soft-on.
if not impossible, to define.
Nonsense, it defines itself.
Nothing could be easier.
No need to wonder about the difference between
"hard core" and "soft core" pornography.
The simple difference is, "Soft core" pornography is
that which gives one a soft-on.
☺☺
A honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her
parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.
"How did that happen?, " gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady,
"but three girls helped me catch him."
parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.
"How did that happen?, " gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady,
"but three girls helped me catch him."
☺☺
TOES---God's way for you to find furniture in the
dark! !
dark! !
☺☺
When Chuck Norris does a pushup,
he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth
down.
he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth
down.
☺☺
Yesterday I underwent a painful procedure that
required me to have my spine and both testicles
removed.
Still.... I got some great wedding presents though.
required me to have my spine and both testicles
removed.
Still.... I got some great wedding presents though.
☺☺☺☺
