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Useless Knowledge:
A dolphin produces notes 100 times higher than the
highest note a human soprano can reach even in the
shower.
A dolphin produces notes 100 times higher than the
highest note a human soprano can reach even in the
shower.
••
Little Suzie was lost in thought and when her mother
asked her what she was thinking, Suzie said,
"Mommy, is it true that the stork fetches babies?"
Her mother replied, "Yes, dear."
Suzie had another question: "Is it true Santa brings
presents?"
Her mother replied, "That's right, dear."
Suzie asked, "Then what do we need daddy for?"
asked her what she was thinking, Suzie said,
"Mommy, is it true that the stork fetches babies?"
Her mother replied, "Yes, dear."
Suzie had another question: "Is it true Santa brings
presents?"
Her mother replied, "That's right, dear."
Suzie asked, "Then what do we need daddy for?"
••
A woman goes into a meat market and asks the
butcher why his pork chops are $.99 a pound,
when the guy across the street is selling his for $.89.
The butcher says: "Well, then, why don't you go over
there and buy his?"
The customer replies: "He doesn't have any left."
"Well, that's nothing," the butcher says: "when I
don't have any, I sell mine for only $0.79!"
butcher why his pork chops are $.99 a pound,
when the guy across the street is selling his for $.89.
The butcher says: "Well, then, why don't you go over
there and buy his?"
The customer replies: "He doesn't have any left."
"Well, that's nothing," the butcher says: "when I
don't have any, I sell mine for only $0.79!"
••
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick
wall in a game of tennis.
wall in a game of tennis.
••
An elderly man was having a calm walk when he
happens to pass a brothel.
One of the prostitutes calls out: "Hey Grandpa!
Why don't you try?"
The old man replies: "No, my child, I cannot!"
The prostitute: "Cheer up!!! Let us try!!!"
The elderly man enters and performs like a 25 year
old.
The prostitute says:"Oh Gosh!
And you still say you cannot."
The old man replies:
"Aaah, Sex I Can, what I Cannot is... Pay !"
happens to pass a brothel.
One of the prostitutes calls out: "Hey Grandpa!
Why don't you try?"
The old man replies: "No, my child, I cannot!"
The prostitute: "Cheer up!!! Let us try!!!"
The elderly man enters and performs like a 25 year
old.
The prostitute says:"Oh Gosh!
And you still say you cannot."
The old man replies:
"Aaah, Sex I Can, what I Cannot is... Pay !"
••
If youre drinking champagne at 8 a.m. youre an
alcoholic, but if you add orange juice its just an early
brunch.
alcoholic, but if you add orange juice its just an early
brunch.
••
Redneck WORD OF THE DAY: BUDWEISER....
Hey Homie, your girlfriend has a nice body,
budweiser face so ugly?
Hey Homie, your girlfriend has a nice body,
budweiser face so ugly?
••
One day Flex went to an auction.
While there, he bid on an exotic parrot.
He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the
bidding.
He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he
bid higher and higher and higher.
Finally, after he bid way more than he intended,
he won the bid.
The price was high but the fine bird was finally his!
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the
Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk.
I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to
find out that he can't talk!"
"Don't worry," said the Auctioneer, "He can talk.
Who do you think kept bidding against you?"
While there, he bid on an exotic parrot.
He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the
bidding.
He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he
bid higher and higher and higher.
Finally, after he bid way more than he intended,
he won the bid.
The price was high but the fine bird was finally his!
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the
Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk.
I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to
find out that he can't talk!"
"Don't worry," said the Auctioneer, "He can talk.
Who do you think kept bidding against you?"
••
Got my bumper sticker ready for the 21st;
Jesus is coming, everyone look busy!
Got my bumper sticker ready for the 21st;
Jesus is coming, everyone look busy!
••
